Push! For My Heart: Chapter III

Push! For My Heart

Chapter III:

Maruki and Aiya were headed on their way home, the same homes they have lived in for many years past. Just like everyday since primary they always walked each other home after school. Aiya’s home was first this year, the middle school came from Aiya’s direction which was good for Maruki because this way he could always make sure that Aiya got home safely. The large green field lay ahead of the school was the main soccer field, of which would not be used until the club signups would start again. Both boys made quiet synchronized steps over the soft green grass. Each bundle of green blades made a soft crunch with each step they took. Somehow the ending to this day seemed to end more with stress than the expected relief of a school day ending. 

 The walk was silent for neither Aiya nor Maruki dare not say anymore in fear the other would get mad. Both knew that the other still had their opinion to say more about Miyuki, but now was not the time, maybe never was the correct time. They had come up to Aiya’s small one floor home and stopped at the rusting and decrepit gates. 

“See you tomorrow?” After a small hesitation of silence and an awkward stare, Maruki slipped a hand into his pants pocket. His eyes soon fell to the ground in feeling the awkwardness grow. This was even harder to deal with for over the near-decade they had known each other, they never had these awkward moments that ran between them. Maruki’s almond eyes fell to the ground. Could this be a falling-out of their friendship, all because of a girl?

Aiya smiled and kneeled down slightly, to be eye-to-eye with Maruki pulling his chin to get him to look up at him, his dark eyes were happy again.

“Cheer up Maruki, everything will be fine.” His empathetic and sweet tone was forgiving of Maruki’s actions earlier that day. “Be prepared, you know it’ll happen again tomorrow, Maa-chan.” Aiya joked, hoping to see a smile again.

Maruki sighed softly and playfully slapped Aiya’s shoulder lightly being teased like that in a time like this did not add up well for Maruki. He was worried that he had just lost his best friend, his only friend.

“Just go inside, Aidou.” Maruki winked happily and headed off home again as soon as Aiya was safe inside his home he waved cutely to his friend as he peered out of the window on the door. 

Only a few meters away from Aiya’s gate Maruki spotted something in the corner of his eye which made him second glance this scene. Sitting across the street from Aiya’s house, on a bus bench was a girl, even with a glance from the corner of his eye Maruki recognized who it was, making him stop in his tracks. 

Looking in both directions before darting across the residential street, he stopped off to the side of the girl. Immediately slipping his hands into his pants pockets, Maruki glared down at the girl sitting there with a prim and proper pose, her eyes locked in the direction of Aiya’s home.

Bright bulb eyes stared blankly ahead. With a single blink and a tilt of the head, the girl looked up at Maruki sweetly, a small smirk playing on the girls glossed lips.

“Good evening, Ezaki kun.” The mysterious girl smirked slyly at the young middle school male. With her hands folded neatly across her lap, she was definitely up to something.

Maruki would not give this girl another chance, even if his life or almost nonexistent reputation counted on it. His round coffee coloured eyes narrowed darkly, sending a hateful glare in her direction. This was futile proof that the interaction at the school was nothing but an act for her, which of course it was, harpies like her never changed. 


“What are you doing here, Miyuki?” When speaking with Miyuki in private Maruki was nothing but cold and stern to her, as well as most of the other classmates. Hatred laced this boy’s heart when it came to

this girl because when it came to hurting one that is like his family, it was unforgivable.

Miyuki danced around the question, dancing was what she did best ignoring a subject long enough to get what she wanted. Miyuki giggled like the little schoolgirl she was, tilting her head in a playful manner.

“I was going to ask you the same thing, Maruki.” with using the same cold tone as Maruki, Miyuki stood trying to intimidate the young boy. “Always walking Aiya chan home, keeping a close eye on him, inappropriate physical contact in school hallways.” She put a heavy emphasis on his name, almost as if she were mocking it; this girl was getting on Maruki’s nerves, and it was showing greatly. 

“I always knew that boy was gay. I knew it from the start.” Whether she had meant her words or not, she knew that they would hit some of Maruki’s buttons. Getting people angry at each other or themselves into self destruction was what she was good at, she was the school’s little demon.

That made Maruki’s blood boil, his urge to strike the girl was almost difficult to contain, he gripped his hand into a tight fist the nails digging into his palms deeply. Maruki knew Aiya his whole life him and whether it were to be true or not, there is no greater insult than a bully using it against you.

“Look Miyuki, you don’t know Aiya at all, nor do you have any right to address him by his first name. You have no right to judge him like that.” Without saying any harsh comments that could possibly get him in trouble, a simple comeback was all Maruki could come up with. Even without the girl saying anything, her disgusting smirk was enough for him to continue. Which he where he could no longer hold his tongue back, her ability to show people’s true colours to her was unfathomable, it was indeed an excellent skill of hers.

“Just because Ai finds and abominable twat like you attractive, who is obviously a narcissistic social vampire that feeds off the ignorance of those who somehow find you attractive...” Maruki was on his way to getting himself into some real trouble, but he needed to vent. After years of knowing this girl and even being kids, she was somehow still as cruel as they came, he knew what he was saying was deserving. “You aren’t even attractive Miyuki. Caked on make up? You’re twelve for gawd’s sake, why do you need makeup? Your knockoff designer clothing that, even if they were real, were made to make you look like a child prostitute. And while were on the subject of prostitution, surrounding yourself with ugly minions that are obviously some form of groupie, will get you nowhere in life unless you plan to walk those streets.” He huffed heavily, his rant finally over. If there were anyway to prove that he said what he did, he would definitely be suspended from school which would leave Aiya alone and vulnerable to attack from every bully there.

Miyuki couldn’t believe her ears. Maruki was being entirely rude but with what she had done in the past, he had a right to be as rude as he was, but that did not stop her. Miyuki stumbled back a few steps, stunned and speechless. She stood dumbstruck for a few moments with her hand clasped over her chest, Miyuki was ready with a simple comeback that she knew would get a reaction from Maruki. 

“So you are his lover, huh?” The evil grin returned to the girl’s sly lips, she was not about to lose this fight so easily, even if she had to play the long game.“Well that also doesn’t surprise me at all.” Cocky and immature, Miyuki was not playing fair, this was even considered after Maruki’s rant to her. Using Aiya, the delicate flower, as leverage for insults and most likely rumours. None of which would bother Maruki but he knew they would take a toll on Aiya’s way of life at school. That comment hurt, he knew somewhere down the line Aiya would be the butt of a joke, and there was no way he could stop it if Miyuki had started it. Aiya was like the brother he felt like he always needed in his life, having two sisters was hard because they would never know what it would be like growing up as a boy, Aiya obviously did. 

Somehow, Miyuki got him to pause in thought, thinking about all of their interactions with each other starting back in preschool. She had planted a seed of doubt and rampant thoughts that just weren’t logical, and it was invading his mind quickly. To consider Aiya a lover of his maybe that is what it was and he never knew? His train of thought went from worry and fear, to something that he could possibly work with, a logical mindset that had roots in absurdity, even though he was fairly sure neither were like that it did seem to be more of a successful method of keeping Aiya safe while at school. Maruki had much more to say to this cruel hearted girl, but he walked away without saying another word to her. Sure, walking away made Maruki lose this battle, and he hated losing, but his future plans would help him win the war, one battle was nothing when lost because it was going to be one of many and he knew that. He ignored the distant cackle as best as he could as he darted across the road again. Maruki kept walking silently with a myriad of thoughts flowing everywhere in his brain. He thought of the solutions and weighed the consequences that came with them.

Finally reaching his door Maruki paused, he didn’t want to go in for reasons unknown. Ever since his mother got a better job and his father got a promotion, they have been very sophisticated and full of themselves, they hardly even acknowledged their youngest daughter who was now being raised solely by a nanny. While she was being raised by a nanny, his older sister raised herself and her little brother; Maruki’s parents seemed to pay more attention to him, which was something he never understood, maybe it had something to do with him being an old son. Now, even though living a first class family life, Maruki didn’t feel like a first-class family child. Though everything he wanted was given to him and he was free to do what he wanted, he didn’t feel free; he felt like a prisoner in his own life. Finally turning the handle of the door, Maruki stepped into his home, where his slippers neatly waiting for him in the foyer. The smell of black tea and Vanilla Orchid filled his nostrils, making him wrinkle his nose slightly. Saeko came to the door from the kitchen, moving the short paper curtains from her peripheral view. 


“Welcome home, Maruki. How was school?” Saeko was a polite and beautiful woman now that she got out of her old line of work. Her cheerful tone was like that of a typical mother; it was disgusting, she was never like this before.

Maruki placed his shoes in the shoe rack under the bench, sliding his feet into his nice warm slippers. With no eye contact Maruki gave a simple response as he rudely walked passed his mother, almost pushing her out of the way. 

“Good.” Maruki was still upset about Miyuki that he was even being cold towards his mother. He started up the stairs, stopping on the third step when his mother called up to him.

“Did something happen, Maruki?” While never so inclusive to her children or in their lives in general anymore, she did still have concern for her son’s wellbeing. “Do you want to talk about it?” It was because of a mother’s intuition that she knew something was wrong the instant she saw his face, if he did not want to talk about it she would not force him.

Maruki paused a moment, hesitant of his actions. He turned and sent a fake, bright smile to his mother in hopes of covering up his true feelings. 
“Nothing mom, I’ll be in my room. No need to call me for dinner, I’ll eat when I am hungry.” Maruki giggled as he would on a regular basis, and ran up the stairs to the safety of his room. Reaching the safe haven that was his clean and organized bedroom, he slammed the door and collapsed back against it. This was too much to process in a day: first day of school with new classes and teachers, peers google eyeing him all day, fighting with Aiya, and worst of all Miyuki; it was too much for an eleven year old boy in middle school.

Saeko knew that Maruki was covering up something that was on his mind, it was something all teenagers did to their parents. Her oldest child did it all the time. Now her daughter was moved out, living in an apartment with two of her friends near her work in the city. 

Maruki threw himself down on his bed not even undressing from his school uniform. His formally ragged twin bed had changed for the better since his primary days, now a queen sized sophisticated bed for a hard working middle school student. Not moments after he had relaxed and shut his eyes on his bed in a comfortable position, his phone rang. He was not old enough for a cell phone but his parents gave him one anyway, heavily slapping his hand around on his side table, groping for his flip-phone, he finally found it, after letting it ring a few times before he flipped it open and heavily dropped the speaker to his ear. Only one person ever called him only one person was in his contacts, Aiya, so he did not know why he was taking his sweet time answering the phone.

“Aidou, what’s up?” Maruki was calm and cool in answering the phone. He was upset but he wished not to make Aiya upset, he did not want Aiya to know how exhausted he really was.

Aiya chuckled slightly as to how Maruki answered the phone it was cute and thoughtful, yet somehow upsetting.

“Stop calling me that Maruki. Really, you don’t have to.” Aiya was sweet when he spoke to Maruki, his feet kicking the air as he looked at his school uniform hanging on the back of the door. 

Maruki smiled even though no one was around to see. 

“I like calling you it though, I don’t know how I ever forgot it.” There was a long pause between the both of them, Maruki found himself looking around the room blankly. “Do you remember how you got that name, Aiya?” Maruki’s vivid memory played back that scene in his head suddenly. A memory that was small, yet very significant to both Aiya and Maruki. 

When they were both entering first year elementary school, Aiya had found a lost stray puppy under a bridge in a sealed box, how someone could do that he would never know. knowing full well he could not take it home, him and Maruki kept it in an alleyway near a park under a HVAC to a local building.  For they were only children, no one would allow them to buy food for the dog without their parents’ permission, so they had resorted to sneaking out leftovers and scraps from dinner the night before. While food was harder to access for the young six and seven-year-olds, water was no problem to leave for the puppy. One day, months after finding it the two returned before school to feed it and take care of it to last him until the next morning. Maruki and Aiya had found the almost fully-grown puppy dead. It was attacked by a wild animal in the night that most likely came from the park. The puppy, not having finished its food from the day before made him an easy target for the animal that was attracted to the scent of food, it came to take the food it scrounged for. The still very small Shiba Inu tried to fight it off, but lost. It was hard to see their loved pet, while a stray they considered it theirs, lying there on the the ground under the flap of the cardboard box home they made for it. Its eyes were closed softly and peacefully, it lay curled up in a ball in the towel bed they made for it; while his neck was stained in old blood and looked painful, he seemed to pass peacefully and with no more pain. Maruki and Aiya were attached to the animal, they even gave it a name. Its name came from Aiya would feed him everyday with the same Tupperware container and when he placed the container down, the pup would bark in thanks. Each time, Aiya would say ‘Douita’ to say “you’re welcome” to the pup, thus giving the pup his name. With the love the two young boys had for their pup, they decided to keep his legacy alive by giving the nickname to Aiya, ‘Ai’ for Aiya found it, and ‘Dou’ from what he would say to it everyday. ‘Aidou’ was also an term for ‘Idol’, of which he did not consider himself, but the idea was fun to have. Even though Douita passed away, he would always be with Aiya in name and spirit.

Aiya smiled as well, staring at his door. He was dressed in his nightwear now even though it was still very early, knowing he wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.

“All right, Maa-chan.” Aiya’s voice was low, like a whisper. His mother was walking outside the door and he feared her finding out that he was talking on the phone. 
“So, I called for a reason, Maa-chan.”
 Somehow over all of these years, micro-actions like these have always gone unnoticed.

At that moment Maruki’s heart leapt into his throat. In the back of his mind, he was hoping that Aiya was not going to say what he was thinking. 

“Why is that Aiya?” Maruki was a little worried now, hoping that Miyuki did not go to Aiya’s home after he left.

Aiya was slightly excited about his news he almost couldn’t speak. Soft ruffles could be heard on the phone, Aiya rolled over onto his back and sprawled out on his unmade bed.

“Miyuki asked me out on a date.” With a little excitement in his voice, he finally spilled his news. 

Maruki punched the pillow on his lap hard. A loud thump echoed through his room. Though he was shocked, Maruki was not quite stolen of his words yet. 


“What?” An even louder echo bellowed though his clean room, Maruki knew Miyuki was up to no good when he found her sitting outside of Aiya’s house after school.

Aiya chuckled, a hand running through his thick, black hair. 

“I know! That’s what I said.” Aiya sounded almost as shocked at Maruki was yet he did not know that Maruki was shocked for all sorts of different reasons. Aiya had thought that Maruki was on his side about this good news. “A girl never asks a boy out, right?” Aiya was adorable and happy, but very naïve. And this was one of many reasons as to why Maruki had to always make sure that he was all right and safe on a daily basis.

Maruki jumped to his feet, his hand grasping to his pillow tightly, trying to not scream some sense into his friend over the phone. “Aiya, you can’t go out with her!” For a first day back at school, this was already too much drama, every school had some drama, but not this much this fast. 

“She is going to ruin you, can’t you see that?” Maruki felt his heart in his throat, throbbing painfully. He was holding back from screaming in worry, sadness and even anger towards Aiya. The burning in his eyes was hard to ignore as he held back tears for his friend.

Aiya sat up in his bed, cross-legged and innocent in his mannerisms. He could easily hear that Maruki did not want him seeing her. Was Maruki thinking that a girlfriend could take him away from this friendship? Was he jealous of him finally having the possibility of having a girlfriend and he had still never gotten that opportunity? 

“Maruki, stop. You don’t have to watch out for me every moment of my life.” For once Aiya spoke in a stern tone, this was very unlike him. Though he felt a tight knot in his throat, he had never spoken like that to anyone, let alone Maruki. “I like Miyuki still. She asked me out, and I am going to try for this chance. It doesn’t come often, you know?” The naïve tone in his voice proved he had no idea what was going to happen if he had actually agreed to go out with the one Maruki called ‘The Harpy,’ her only intentions were to get Aiya vulnerable and destroy him.

Maruki knew this all too well, there was never getting in the middle of a kid and their first crush, they were always blind to the facts in front of them. Him and Aiya have been the same their entire lives; intellectual, athletic, talented in different aspects, yet always quiet. They did not like to talk to anyone but each other because opening up to someone and making oneself vulnerable was much more difficult than to lie to someone to avoid speaking with them.

“Aidou, I do know.” His voice was weak, he knew there was no talking some sense into Aiya. Sadness of the past pains were flooding back all at once, how could Aiya forget about all of them? 

“I just want you to be careful, you are like a brother to me.” Knowing that Aiya was not going to listen almost hurt. Maruki knew the feelings he held for Miyuki, and he knew he couldn’t change them, they would have to be changed on their own. Maruki closed his eyes slowly, taking in a slow quiet breath, what was this knot he was feeling? Jealousy? Anger? Fear? There was no way to tell in this situation.

Letting out a small sigh, Aiya flopped back down on his bed. Pulling the mismatched blankets up to his shoulders lazily rolling onto his side.

“I’ll be fine, Maruki, okay?” Aiya’s tone had seemed to die down a little, but he was still frustrated at Maruki’s attitude towards the situation. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, why could he not just be happy for him? Not having the approval of his best friend was the same to him as it was for others to not have their parent approve of their partner. “Please Maruki, let me do something alone for once.” Aiya begged quietly, while he was only twelve, he had matured a lot since he had first fallen for Miyuki. To finally be able to do something independently, to him, showed growth and one step closer to adulthood.

There was no way Maruki could help the situation it was going to be inevitable for Aiya to do what he had already set his mind to. 

“Okay Aiya, do what you want.” Maruki was angry out of hurt which was a position where people usually said things they would regret later for all they did was hurt others who had hurt them. “But if she hurts you don’t come running to me.” It was a rather difficult sentence to allow pass over his tongue, having never said anything negative to Aiya before, but his mouth was running before his brain told it what to say. Maruki had never even said ‘no’ to Aiya before and while Aiya getting hurt had not happened yet, he knew it would happen eventually.

Maruki fell silent for a moment, small chopped breaths could be heard in the receiver, he was trying to hold back tears. Aiya thought long and hard about his response, he was going to be as mature about this and level headed as possible.

“Thank you, Maruki. I’m sure I’ll be fine on my own anyway. I mean, how difficult can a girl be, right?” A small nervous laugh left Aiya’s lips, he obviously did not know what girls were like. Aiya fell silent for a moment as well, thinking about a different subject to talk about so they both could forget about it and talk normally again hopefully moving passed this awkward subject. “So, first year Middle School. Are you excited Maru-chan?” Aiya was happy and cheerful, trying to cheer up Maruki.

It wasn’t difficult to ignore Aiya’s attempt to cheer him up, it was his purity and innocence that he loved about Aiya. Maruki let out a small happy chuckle and, his eyes lit up once again.

“I think I’m ready for whatever Middle School throws at me. Don’t you, Aidou?” Maruki pushed aside all of his feelings of Aiya wanting to date Miyuki easily. “Are you excited to be back at school?” Maruki asked sweetly in return, finally sitting back down on his soft bed scooting himself back to lie back down on his bed. Maruki placed his phone on his pillow having Aiya on speakerphone, he was getting tired already.

Aiya took a small breath about to respond but a small crash coming from the kitchen cut him off, followed by shouts and screams, even Maruki could hear them on the phone. 

“Shit. Maru-chan, I have to go, I’m sorry.” His mother was drunk again and getting angry at something yet again. Aiya would have hung up right away, but he wanted to hear Maruki say good-bye to him.

Maruki made a small noise, hoping Aiya would be all right.

“Wait, what?” He sat up quickly, grabbing the phone quickly. “What’s going on?” Panic set in his heart, there was a loud noise where Aiya was, and he had not been around to help. Aiya made a small sound and let off a low groan. “Talk to me, Ai.” Maruki pleaded. If there was any danger, he would be over there as fast as he could be. What would happen if he was hurt?

Aiya whimpered a bit, not knowing how to tell him, it was maybe time that he told Maruki about it, but there was no time now.

“It’s nothing, really.” Another crash came from the kitchen, this time it was the sound of breaking glass. “I’ll tell you about it later.” He quickly hung up the phone, leaving Maruki listening to the painful silence of worry and fear as to what it was that was wrong.