Push! For My Heart

Push! For My Heart

Chapter IV:

For his entire life, even before he could remember even those times that his mind would block out to ignore the pain, he was severely abused at home and this secret was so burdening to him that he thought that even telling his best friend would be burden him out of wanting to have anything to do with him anymore; this was painfully his mentality for such a young child, everything was always his fault. One would think that keeping something so important a secret for so long was unhealthy, however when it came to Aiya’s situation, there was nothing more terrifying than someone finding out that his body was covered in scars, burns, and bruises almost daily. If the authorities were to ever find out, there may be a chance that he would never be heard of again, that was exactly how bad his mother was. Sometimes the deepest of secrets were hid in plain sight with hints and mannerisms pointing to all of the facts, yet no one thought to look. The hardest to look passed is those who will always make sure others are happy; those who wear a smile all the time, hide the darkest of pains.

After Aiya had hung up on him so suddenly, Maruki had lied back in bed as still as could be, his pillow covering his baby-like face from the light that flooded in from the large window. He could not recall when he fell asleep, but whenever it happened the position he fell asleep in was painful to wake from. Being only in his boxers, Maruki crawled finally under his down filled blanket and curled up in a ball, facing his cell phone just in case Aiya was to call again. Since he had just woke up his eyes were still heavy with sleep, he rolled onto his stomach to burying his face in the soft mattress. He was stressed about Aiya, the strange peers at school, first day back at school, it was all too much to take in. Not but a few minutes later, he fell right back asleep, his phone in hand still. Dreaming of nonsenses Maruki was tossing and turning, almost acting out his dreams. The ringing of his phone was coinciding with his dreams then it stopped momentarily, after a few moments, the ringing commenced again. Groaning heavily, Maruki blinked slowly before jolting awake, stammering for his phone he finally found it on the floor, thankfully answering it on the last ring before the voicemail would answer it.

“Ai-Aiya?” Maruki accidentally shouted into the phone without even realizing it, he was just panicked from the sound of his ringtone waking him suddenly. Maruki fell silent and surprised to hear sobbing from the other end of the line. 
“Aiya are you all right?” He couldn’t remember the last time he heard Aiya cry, let alone sobbing so heavily that he could hardly breathe. Hearing Aiya’s pain filled cries, it made his heart sink to the floor.

Aiya couldn’t stop himself from sobbing uncontrollably even though it was painful to even breath normally, Maruki knew right away that something was very wrong and Aiya needed immediate attention. Aiya sniffed loudly, him wiping his blocked and bloody nose could be heard over the phone. 


“Maruki.” Aiya managed to whimper softly his voice filled with winces of pain and defeat, his voice was slurred and muffled. “She hurt me again.” A small wince followed his pained comment, his former sweet voice quivered in fear and pain, it was raspy from crying for who knows how long, it was weak and sounded as if he even just gave up. This was something that Maruki never thought he would hear, and it pained him to know that someone was capable of causing anyone to feel like Aiya was right now.

Maruki sat up quickly, perhaps a little too quickly, he definitely pulled some muscles in his legs and back. He threw the blankets off of him as quickly as he could, already darting for his street clothes to go get Aiya from his house.

“AGAIN?!” He shouted loudly into the microphone. On Aiya’s side of the line the connection broke lightly, his speaker was not great with louder sounds and even crackled or completely cutout when the decibel was too high. “This has happened more than once? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you ok? Have you called the police?” So many questions, so little time to answer them all. 

Hiding in the pantry with the phone, Aiya was terrified his mother never hit him like that before. Instead of calling the police, where he wouldn’t feel safe talking, Aiya called Maruki who was the only person he could be open with; except for this secret he hid for so many years. For now Aiya didn’t need Maruki to say anything, just knowing he was there was good enough for him.

“Please help me.” He whimpered softly, he sounded like a hurt puppy. He spoke softly, not wanting to wake his mother who was off in the other room in fear she would be more upset knowing that he called someone telling them what was going on in the quarters of their home. There was nothing left in him, he it was almost as if he gave up and accepted that this was his fate, perhaps the pain would take him from that same pain in death. The fear of his mother was stronger than the fear of death, death almost seemed welcoming at this point. Before Maruki could say anything in return, a wince of pain exited his lungs sharply, he was almost sure that there was something broken.

Maruki had no idea what he could do to help, this was the first he had ever heard of this sort of emergency and had no idea how to deal with it. Pulling his phone from his face he saw that it was just before eleven in the evening meaning both his parents would be asleep at that point. Putting Aiya on speakerphone, he started to get dressed in silence.
“I’m coming over, Aiya, I’m going to come get you.” There were so may emotions that he was feeling, he could not even discern which emotions were apparent in his hushed voice. Grabbing a black graphic T and some dark washed jeans, he got dressed as fast as he could while still trying to be quiet, his small slightly chubby torso exposed in the low light of the cellphone screen. “Are you going to be okay until I get there, Ai?” Maruki’s voice was filled with concern. He didn’t want anything more to happen to his friend when there was nothing he could do to help. Maruki’s breath matched Aiya’s as he curled tightly into the corner of the small half metre by half meter pantry. 

Letting out shaking breaths and gasps of what Maruki could only assume were from bruised or broken ribs or pain elsewhere. There was nothing that Aiya could say to reassure Maruki, he was hurt, defeated, broken by the one person he should have full trust in; worst of all, now his friend knew the secret that he was hiding and would most likely judge him for staying around in silence for so long. He tried to speak, but all of the emotions of what had happened that night were all flooding back all of a sudden making his voice get caught in his throat. Aiya let out a slow and soft sigh as he tried to relax himself. He went to go straighten his arm to reach up to push the folding door open when he remembered it had hurt as well, a small winced passed his lips. He took a small breath and whispered softly in order not to wake his mother. 
“I’m think okay now Maru-chan. I’m just going to go back to bed, all right?” With pain still laced in his whimpers, this was something that he could not just forget.

Maruki was not going to let this go as easily as Aiya was. Even if it were just for the night, Maruki knew he had to get Aiya out of that house and possibly to a hospital. He threw his hand down on his bed sternly, he was serious about what he was about to say.

“Ai, you are going to pack a bag, and you are going to come and stay at my house until your mother smartens up.” He paused for a few moments, Aiya was silent and Maruki needed to know that he understood. “Okay, Ai?” Maruki was not going to allow someone who is supposed to be the sworn protector of their children treat his friend like this. Aiya was always his top priority and in a situation like this, it was even more so the case. At this point even not knowing all of the facts, he was tempted to call the police as soon as he got off of the phone with Aiya. 

Aiya was silent for a few moments it worried Maruki slightly, until small rustling could be heard, it sounded suspicious to Maruki. He listened carefully to what was going on. He couldn’t quite figure it out. His voice was hushed even lower as he made his way out of his door and down the hall to the stairs. It was a short few steps to the door from the bottom of the stairs, once he was at the bottom, he knew he would be safe from waking his parents.

“Ai, what are you doing?” With worry, Maruki tip-toed stiffly, hesitant in grabbing his shoes as he approached the foyer. He was   So worried that he was unaware that he had stopped breathing to listen more carefully to the speaker of his phone.

Aiya removed his palm from the folding pantry door and dropped it over his pained stomach, only to questionably tilt his head towards the phone against his ear. 

“What you told me to do, Maruki! Pack!” Maruki was very intelligent, but he sure had his stupid moments sometimes. It didn’t matter what it was, over time Aiya would always do what Maruki told him to do. Maruki’s decision was usually the right one after all. He continued quietly opening the door while saying no more to Maruki, with his hurt arm holding the phone to his ear because stretching out caused a shooting pain the radiate through his arm. His stronger arm helped him crawl out of the cupboard and helped push him to his feet as quietly as he could.

Maruki closed the front door as quietly as he could, not even thinking of locking it. As soon as he was in the dark and quiet residential streets, he started a full run the few blocks it was to Aiya’s house. It was moments like this that Maruki was glad he was on the track team in elementary school and planned to for his middle school years.

Aiya began packing as soon as he got to his room, dodging all of the creaks in the floors of the hallway; clean clothes, toiletries, school uniform, everything that could last him up to a week away from home while still attending school. Aiya remained on the phone with Maruki the whole time, hearing his now rushed breathing as be began to run down the streets. Talking or not, Aiya felt safer with Maruki on the line with him. Having changed from his pajamas, into something street worthy, Aiya was finally ready to leave his house. 

“Maru, I’m ready now.” Aiya seemed scared to hang up it showed in his hushed voice, but it was necessary if he wanted to leave. He zipped up his bag and slipped on his school shoes rather than his street shoes, for those were in the living room where his mother was.

With a huff in his voice, Maruki jumped from street to curb. The grass much quieter to run on this late at night.

“I’m almost there, meet me outside.” Without another word, Maruki hung up quickly which allowed him to sprint faster.

Aiya clicked the answer button on the cordless phone and tossed it on his bed haphazardly, there was no need to care if it were charged since he was technically running away. Silently rushing to the door as he dodged those creaks again, Aiya knew he would regret doing this, but it was for the better. Being careful of his arm, Aiya opened the door and snuck out without any notice. He ran as far as his pained ribs would allow, which was not very far. Down the street he could see Maruki’s running to him, which prompted him to stop; seeing his friend in person, he knew he was safe. 

The slapping of Maruki’s sneakers could be heard down the empty streets as he returned to the sidewalk. Heavier slaps echoed off of the bungalow homes as he came to a heavy stop in front of Aiya. While struggling to catch his breath, an expression of pain and worry painted his baby-like features, soon the anger set in when those dark bruises were visible in the low light of the streets. A lump in his throat made it that much harder to catch his breath, upon seeing those marks all over Aiya’s face as well as the dried blood from his nose, he was lost for words.

As soon as Maruki was in front of him, as much as it hurt everything, Aiya burst out in a wailing sob. He dropped his bag heavily to the concrete of the decrepit sidewalk, dropping to his knees soon after while folding his arm across his chest. There was a fear that he felt and an immense cloud that hung over his head for so long, seeing the one person that now knew of this cloud, it seemed relieving yet frightening. Maruki dropped to his knees heavily as he dropped to Aiya’s aid. A small hand reached out to Aiya’s chin, gently raising it to get a closer look at the surface wounds of his delicate features. Aiya closed his eyes gently, tears falling from the corners of his tulip buds, he felt too much shame to look at Maruki in a state like this.

“I’m so sorry, Maruki.” His weak, honeyed voice quivered through his persistent sobs. He was a victim of child abuse and at this moment he was severely beaten, yet all he could think was all of the problems that he would now cause his only friend. 

Maruki’s heart broke to Aiya’s words, he held a secret for so long and yet all he could do was apologize to him. Not knowing where anything hurt, Maruki stretched out his arms gently, inviting Aiya to hug him if he needed. At this, Aiya did not hesitate to embrace his friend’s welcoming comfort. Diving into his arms, he completely ignored the shooting pain in his chest, it all seemed to disappear as soon as he knew that Maruki being there was really real and not in his imagination.

“You have nothing to be sorry about Aiya.” His own voice quivered as it was forced over that large bump in his throat, it was very difficult to hold back his own tears. “I’m the one who should be sorry for not ever noticing something wasn’t right.” Having collapsed to the cold concrete, Maruki became a safely cushion for his delicate friend on top of him.

This embrace did not last long for while they were still outside of his house, they were not safe quite yet. It was Aiya who initiated them to leave, while they were a decent distance from his living room, the window still overlooked the street. Puffy, espresso coloured eyes peered to Maruki as he pushed himself from the concrete; it seemed painful to blink, a pain he had not noticed until now. 

Grabbing Aiya’s bag and slinging it over one shoulder as he stood, Maruki then offered a hand down to Aiya who was kneeling on his knees pondering how he would stand without causing himself anymore pain. Diving at his friend may have already caused more damage to his ribs, but at this moment it was hard to tell. He dropped his gaze to the ground, one arm slung across his chest, the other dropped to his side weakly.

“I can’t get up.” He whimpered softly. 

This prompt Maruki to drop to one knee at Aiya’s side, draping the stronger arm across his shoulder. With a shaky knee, he stood straight up while pulling Aiya to his feet. Silently and carefully, Maruki assisted Aiya all the way back to his house, soft sniffles drifting into his ear as Aiya tried to calm himself down still. 

Arriving back at Maruki’s a while later, he was surprised to see that the kitchen light was on. Sneaking into the door quietly, he gently sat Aiya down on the bench as he closed and locked the door behind him. Aiya leaned down, trying to untie his shoes, but to no avail could he even reach his feet. A look of surprise washed over Maruki’s features when he turned and saw Aiya struggling. Diving to sit on his heels, he rested Aiya’s heel in his lap and cupped his ankle in his small hand and untied his shoes slowly for him.

“I’ve got these, Aiya.” He whispered softly as he slipped Aiya’s shoes off quietly, placing them in the shoe rack underneath him just as quietly. Though the light was on, he tried to not draw attention to them in hopes to sneak back into his bedroom unnoticed. 

Just then his mother peeked her head around the corner from the kitchen, ready to scold her son for sneaking out of the house. She then was quite surprised to see Aiya who looked to be crying. The majority of his facial wounds were on the opposite cheek, so she did not even notice he was hurt. 


“Hey, mom, Aiya is having some troubles right now so I said he can stay here until things are sorted out.” Looking at Aiya, Maruki silently told him to cover his eyes with his hair to hide a forming bruise on his eye; the last thing he wanted was his mother asking question, at least for now until they decided what to do. On the inside, with clenching teeth, Maruki was angry to see those marks on Aiya’s face. 

“Tch… Is that all right, mom?” With a distinct sound of anger in his voice, Maruki pleaded to his mother.

Maruki snatched Aiya’s bag from the floor rather forcefully as he stood quickly, stepping in front of Aiya protectively from his mother’s curious eyes. She parted her lips to say something, but all she did was nod. Her son may have only been eleven, but seeing tears over his friend’s face and the anger in his voice, she knew there was something he was not telling her. Though he was not telling her, it was very mature of him to even go through the trouble to sneak out and help a friend in need. Taking her nod and silence as a good enough response, Maruki helped Aiya up gently, guiding him to his room at the top of the stairs. He was silent for a bit, guiding Aiya in and closing the door behind him, he quickly began getting everything ready for Aiya to sleep. Pulling out his spare futon mattress from under his bed, resetting his alarm clock, to get up for school the next day, and remaking his own bed. The whole time Aiya stood silently by the door, trying not to move. 

Maruki stopped once he was finished, staring silently down at the futon for a moment, letting out a small sigh. Maruki spun on his heels to face Aiya, he grabbed Aiya’s hand, the one that was not draped across his chest and pulled him to the side of his own bed. Without saying anything, Maruki’s gaze dropped to his hands which grabbed the hem of Aiya’s shirt and began lifting slowly and gently. Aiya tightened his arm around his chest and dropped the other hand quickly grabbing for his shirt to hold it down as a blush formed on his cheeks.

“What, what are you doing?” His voice shook, he looked down to the floor in embarrassment as his fingers grasped to his shirt tightly.

Looking up to his taller friend with tender eyes, Maruki’s sad lips parted slightly before he spoke, his hand dropping to his side sadly.

“Looking to see what she has done to you.” His soft eyes locked to Aiya’s, looking for any expression telling him he was not allowed. Aiya’s defeated expression showed that he was okay with it. As he returned both hands to the hem of Aiya’s shirt, Aiya no longer protesting his friends actions and cooperated his movements with Maruki’s. Pulling his shirt up slowly exposing his chubby, porcelain tummy, he carefully removed the obvious injured arm last, holding Aiya’s wrist gently as he guided it out of the sleeve of his t-shirt. Preventing the fabric from touching Aiya’s delicate face as the bruises became darker in such a short period of time, he curled his fingers in Aiya’s shirt collar pulling it up carefully, flipping it inside out as he pulled it up and over Aiya’s head. 

Instantly, tears welled in his almond eyes upon seeing Aiya cower away towards the door, there was an obvious trauma that came over him making him feel he needed to be covered and hide away. His entire torso covered in deep black and purple bruises, fresh scratches that were lined with dried blood, and old scars that were both linear and circular in shape. Not only was it his chest and stomach, but as Maruki silently commanded Aiya to turn by giving a gentle push against his shoulder, he had discovered that the entirety of his back as well was covered in similar scars. 

“Are there any anywhere else?” Maruki’s voice trembled in fear that this was not all of it. Somehow he felt he already knew that answer, if there were wounds on his torso, there was most likely some on his lower half as well.

Aiya looked away, tears streaming down his cheeks again, he nodded slightly. He swallowed hard, not even knowing how to process his friend now knowing what went on in his home. Maruki dropped his gaze to Aiya’s gym pants, fearing as to how bad it was there as well. 

Holding his pained arm in his palm across his chest, Aiya looked away, squeezing his tulip eyes shut hard, welled tears dripping from his lashes to the floor, pulling a faint pink with them as they pulled some of the dried blood. While it was embarrassing and awkward having his male friend undress him, he knew there was a reason to it. With those tears, Maruki grabbed for his pants, pushing them down gently in case there were fresh wounds there as well. He was careful in not removing his undergarments as he pulled them slowly to his ankles. Kneeling down on one knee, he grasped to Aiya’s foot, pulling it through the pant leg gently, making sure he would not lose balance. The second leg followed before he looked up, seeing a large amount of scars covering his thin thighs. Most of those scars had crossed over each other, showing their age as some had gone over others many times. To his dismay, there were fresh wounds on Aiya’s thighs, ones even he was unaware he had. Deep gashes over his thighs with dried blood as far down as his ankles were visibly deep and susceptible to infection. In one wound that stretched across the side of one of his thighs, there lay a few large pieces of glass, he had no idea how Aiya could not feel that. Pulling himself closer to the wound, he looked up to Aiya, still seeing those tears dropping to the floor.

“This may hurt, Ai.” Gripping around the largest piece of glass carefully, he pulled it from Aiya’s flesh swiftly, as it came out, so did a small stream of blood. Aiya clenched his eyes tight, wincing as he felt the sharp object reactivating his nerves painfully.

After removing the surprising amount of glass that was embedded in the soft flesh of Aiya’s porcelain thigh, Maruki quickly left to the bathroom and came back with a roll of gauze, a gauze pad, and some antibiotic ointment. Dropping to his knees again, he sat his butt on his heels as he placed a large glob of ointment on a clean and sterile pad, pulled a long length of the gauze before he began wrapping it lightly around the larger spread of wounds that seemed to be isolated to one leg. His small fingers were careful I not touching the now open wounds, it had taken an entire roll of gauze that spread from his hip to his knee, but all of the wounds were now covered. Standing again, Maruki looked up to his friend, facing him sternly. He quickly raised a hand to Aiya’s face, only to gently brush his bangs behind his ear so he could see the bruises. Aiya was startled for a moment enough for him to cower in his shoulders, his eyes closing tight until he realized what Maruki was doing. This lead Maruki to leave the room again to grab a moist towel from the bathroom, returning, he wiped underneath his nose to clean up the dried blood. The small yet dark bruises had grown to cover his cheeks and eyes darkly, the tiny scratches were no longer bleeding. There was no way that these were things a mother should give a child. Maruki’s stern eyes softened.

“Why would you let your mother harm your pretty face like that Ai?” To Maruki it was a stupid question, but upon seeing the bruises on Aiya’s gentle features again, he didn’t know what else to ask. With gentle grace, Maruki cupped his hand over Aiya’s cheek gently. He knew that Aiya loved his mother, and she loved him. It was all the lingering pain of the loss of his father and even though he was eleven-years-old, he knew what death was and what it could do to someone who loved that person.

Aiya looked away from Maruki, it was not that he allowed his mother to hit him it was just that she started drinking heavily that night. Her excessive drinking and losing control she was a prisoner to her own feelings again, this time she was yelling at him about his father. Though Aiya never met his father at an age where he could remember him, it seemed to be the reason to his mother’s excessive drinking. After the first few beatings and raised voice, Aiya began looking at photos of his father before he died. His father was only in his mid-twenties when he passed away, and only being twelve-years-old, it was clear to see that he growing up to look much like his father did. 

Maruki gentle slid a hand to Aiya’s shoulder from his cheek, there lay an irregular shaped bruise on it trailed down his neck as well, one that wrapped around his neck. Upon further inspection, most of his upper body had some stage of bruise on him. Maruki pulled Aiya to his bed, sitting him down gently as he pulled his duvet over Aiya’s half naked body as he noticed he began to shiver. 

“Does it still hurt?” Maruki asked, reaching to cradle Aiya’s bent elbow in his palm, taking some of the strain off of Aiya having to hold his composure for so long while hurting everywhere. With soft, lidded eyes Aiya stared at Maruki’s hand on his flesh, shaking his head slightly but noticeably, he was obviously lying to try to make Maruki feel better. He was concerned for Aiya, this had obviously happened before, so he knew he there was a great probability it could happen again. “Can you move your arm?” He asked softly, Aiya nodded silently. Raising Aiya’s arm by his shoulder, the duvet falling off his shoulder, Maruki felt around Aiya’s chest gently with his fingers, almost every gentle touch caused Aiya to wince. There was almost a guarantee that those were not only bruises but broken bones as well. This was something that he had no idea how to deal with, he was only eleven years old, the only thing he could think of was telling his mother in the morning.

Maruki shifted to pull his clothes off again, stripping to his boxers again it was his room so he held no shame in it with a friend over. He then shifted up towards the head of the bed to give Aiya more room to lie down closest to the wall on his bed, he was too damaged to force him to sleep on the floor. Maruki gave Aiya’s shoulder a gentle tug to silently command him to lie down, which Aiya followed obediently. Maruki held the duvet up for Aiya allowing him to pull himself up at his own speed to get comfortable in Maruki’s soft bed. After he was sufficiently settled in, Maruki had got up to shut the light off and then joined him on his own side of the bed, it was a queen-sized mattress so there was plenty of room for the both of them. As soon as the lights were out when the knot in his throat became unbearable to deal with.

“I forgive my mother, Maruki. It wasn't her fault.” Aiya whimpered softly trying to hold back tears now that Maruki could not see him, he hoped his friend would forgive him for forgiving his mother who committed an incident such as this on a consistent basis. Aiya stared off in the darkness, no longer being able to see until his eyes adjusted. Maruki sighed softly, not knowing how to respond to something like that. Aiya had held it secret for so many years, it was clear that he was always adamant about forgiving her every time. Briefly looking in Aiya’s direction blindly, he looked to the black ceiling again and scooted over closer to Aiya. Stretching his arm out, Maruki invited Aiya to come and sleep in his arms for the night. Feeling the soft touch of Maruki’s fingers rubbing against his shoulder, he promptly moved over and cuddled into Maruki’s arm, resting his head on Maruki’s shoulder. He was hurt, emotionally and physically and he wanted to do nothing more than sleep at the moment. Shifting from his back to his side, Maruki wrapped an arm around Aiya, cradling him tightly in a warm hug while they lied there quietly. 

“Remember the first of your birthdays we celebrated as friends?” Aiya asked sleepily, it had only been a couple of minutes and he was already falling asleep in Maruki’s warm embrace. Maruki nodded against Aiya’s thick black hair. “It’s just like that night. You were just as caring then too.” Aiya sniffled lightly, tears sliding down his cheek to Maruki’s bare shoulder. 

 After a nightmarish first day of middle school and not wanting to go back in the morning, Maruki knew that he should try sleeping as well. They were in his home and Aiya was safe in his arms. His mother could not lay a hand on him, at least tonight.

“Good night Aiya.” Maruki whispered softly, his full lips against Aiya’s thick hair; feeling him already breathing heavier, Aiya was already asleep. It was hard to believe that someone as sweet as Aiya could ever be treated like he had been all these years and hide it so well. As Maruki lay there holding Aiya as close as possible, he thought deeply. He tried to think of any time that Aiya may have hinted at that he was in pain or in danger, yet he could not think of any. Perhaps this had gone on so long with constant apologies that Aiya felt that there was nothing wrong with what he was going through. At some point in the depth of thought and memories, Maruki had also fallen asleep.

Push! For My Heart: Chapter III

Push! For My Heart

Chapter III:

Maruki and Aiya were headed on their way home, the same homes they have lived in for many years past. Just like everyday since primary they always walked each other home after school. Aiya’s home was first this year, the middle school came from Aiya’s direction which was good for Maruki because this way he could always make sure that Aiya got home safely. The large green field lay ahead of the school was the main soccer field, of which would not be used until the club signups would start again. Both boys made quiet synchronized steps over the soft green grass. Each bundle of green blades made a soft crunch with each step they took. Somehow the ending to this day seemed to end more with stress than the expected relief of a school day ending. 

 The walk was silent for neither Aiya nor Maruki dare not say anymore in fear the other would get mad. Both knew that the other still had their opinion to say more about Miyuki, but now was not the time, maybe never was the correct time. They had come up to Aiya’s small one floor home and stopped at the rusting and decrepit gates. 

“See you tomorrow?” After a small hesitation of silence and an awkward stare, Maruki slipped a hand into his pants pocket. His eyes soon fell to the ground in feeling the awkwardness grow. This was even harder to deal with for over the near-decade they had known each other, they never had these awkward moments that ran between them. Maruki’s almond eyes fell to the ground. Could this be a falling-out of their friendship, all because of a girl?

Aiya smiled and kneeled down slightly, to be eye-to-eye with Maruki pulling his chin to get him to look up at him, his dark eyes were happy again.

“Cheer up Maruki, everything will be fine.” His empathetic and sweet tone was forgiving of Maruki’s actions earlier that day. “Be prepared, you know it’ll happen again tomorrow, Maa-chan.” Aiya joked, hoping to see a smile again.

Maruki sighed softly and playfully slapped Aiya’s shoulder lightly being teased like that in a time like this did not add up well for Maruki. He was worried that he had just lost his best friend, his only friend.

“Just go inside, Aidou.” Maruki winked happily and headed off home again as soon as Aiya was safe inside his home he waved cutely to his friend as he peered out of the window on the door. 

Only a few meters away from Aiya’s gate Maruki spotted something in the corner of his eye which made him second glance this scene. Sitting across the street from Aiya’s house, on a bus bench was a girl, even with a glance from the corner of his eye Maruki recognized who it was, making him stop in his tracks. 

Looking in both directions before darting across the residential street, he stopped off to the side of the girl. Immediately slipping his hands into his pants pockets, Maruki glared down at the girl sitting there with a prim and proper pose, her eyes locked in the direction of Aiya’s home.

Bright bulb eyes stared blankly ahead. With a single blink and a tilt of the head, the girl looked up at Maruki sweetly, a small smirk playing on the girls glossed lips.

“Good evening, Ezaki kun.” The mysterious girl smirked slyly at the young middle school male. With her hands folded neatly across her lap, she was definitely up to something.

Maruki would not give this girl another chance, even if his life or almost nonexistent reputation counted on it. His round coffee coloured eyes narrowed darkly, sending a hateful glare in her direction. This was futile proof that the interaction at the school was nothing but an act for her, which of course it was, harpies like her never changed. 


“What are you doing here, Miyuki?” When speaking with Miyuki in private Maruki was nothing but cold and stern to her, as well as most of the other classmates. Hatred laced this boy’s heart when it came to

this girl because when it came to hurting one that is like his family, it was unforgivable.

Miyuki danced around the question, dancing was what she did best ignoring a subject long enough to get what she wanted. Miyuki giggled like the little schoolgirl she was, tilting her head in a playful manner.

“I was going to ask you the same thing, Maruki.” with using the same cold tone as Maruki, Miyuki stood trying to intimidate the young boy. “Always walking Aiya chan home, keeping a close eye on him, inappropriate physical contact in school hallways.” She put a heavy emphasis on his name, almost as if she were mocking it; this girl was getting on Maruki’s nerves, and it was showing greatly. 

“I always knew that boy was gay. I knew it from the start.” Whether she had meant her words or not, she knew that they would hit some of Maruki’s buttons. Getting people angry at each other or themselves into self destruction was what she was good at, she was the school’s little demon.

That made Maruki’s blood boil, his urge to strike the girl was almost difficult to contain, he gripped his hand into a tight fist the nails digging into his palms deeply. Maruki knew Aiya his whole life him and whether it were to be true or not, there is no greater insult than a bully using it against you.

“Look Miyuki, you don’t know Aiya at all, nor do you have any right to address him by his first name. You have no right to judge him like that.” Without saying any harsh comments that could possibly get him in trouble, a simple comeback was all Maruki could come up with. Even without the girl saying anything, her disgusting smirk was enough for him to continue. Which he where he could no longer hold his tongue back, her ability to show people’s true colours to her was unfathomable, it was indeed an excellent skill of hers.

“Just because Ai finds and abominable twat like you attractive, who is obviously a narcissistic social vampire that feeds off the ignorance of those who somehow find you attractive...” Maruki was on his way to getting himself into some real trouble, but he needed to vent. After years of knowing this girl and even being kids, she was somehow still as cruel as they came, he knew what he was saying was deserving. “You aren’t even attractive Miyuki. Caked on make up? You’re twelve for gawd’s sake, why do you need makeup? Your knockoff designer clothing that, even if they were real, were made to make you look like a child prostitute. And while were on the subject of prostitution, surrounding yourself with ugly minions that are obviously some form of groupie, will get you nowhere in life unless you plan to walk those streets.” He huffed heavily, his rant finally over. If there were anyway to prove that he said what he did, he would definitely be suspended from school which would leave Aiya alone and vulnerable to attack from every bully there.

Miyuki couldn’t believe her ears. Maruki was being entirely rude but with what she had done in the past, he had a right to be as rude as he was, but that did not stop her. Miyuki stumbled back a few steps, stunned and speechless. She stood dumbstruck for a few moments with her hand clasped over her chest, Miyuki was ready with a simple comeback that she knew would get a reaction from Maruki. 

“So you are his lover, huh?” The evil grin returned to the girl’s sly lips, she was not about to lose this fight so easily, even if she had to play the long game.“Well that also doesn’t surprise me at all.” Cocky and immature, Miyuki was not playing fair, this was even considered after Maruki’s rant to her. Using Aiya, the delicate flower, as leverage for insults and most likely rumours. None of which would bother Maruki but he knew they would take a toll on Aiya’s way of life at school. That comment hurt, he knew somewhere down the line Aiya would be the butt of a joke, and there was no way he could stop it if Miyuki had started it. Aiya was like the brother he felt like he always needed in his life, having two sisters was hard because they would never know what it would be like growing up as a boy, Aiya obviously did. 

Somehow, Miyuki got him to pause in thought, thinking about all of their interactions with each other starting back in preschool. She had planted a seed of doubt and rampant thoughts that just weren’t logical, and it was invading his mind quickly. To consider Aiya a lover of his maybe that is what it was and he never knew? His train of thought went from worry and fear, to something that he could possibly work with, a logical mindset that had roots in absurdity, even though he was fairly sure neither were like that it did seem to be more of a successful method of keeping Aiya safe while at school. Maruki had much more to say to this cruel hearted girl, but he walked away without saying another word to her. Sure, walking away made Maruki lose this battle, and he hated losing, but his future plans would help him win the war, one battle was nothing when lost because it was going to be one of many and he knew that. He ignored the distant cackle as best as he could as he darted across the road again. Maruki kept walking silently with a myriad of thoughts flowing everywhere in his brain. He thought of the solutions and weighed the consequences that came with them.

Finally reaching his door Maruki paused, he didn’t want to go in for reasons unknown. Ever since his mother got a better job and his father got a promotion, they have been very sophisticated and full of themselves, they hardly even acknowledged their youngest daughter who was now being raised solely by a nanny. While she was being raised by a nanny, his older sister raised herself and her little brother; Maruki’s parents seemed to pay more attention to him, which was something he never understood, maybe it had something to do with him being an old son. Now, even though living a first class family life, Maruki didn’t feel like a first-class family child. Though everything he wanted was given to him and he was free to do what he wanted, he didn’t feel free; he felt like a prisoner in his own life. Finally turning the handle of the door, Maruki stepped into his home, where his slippers neatly waiting for him in the foyer. The smell of black tea and Vanilla Orchid filled his nostrils, making him wrinkle his nose slightly. Saeko came to the door from the kitchen, moving the short paper curtains from her peripheral view. 


“Welcome home, Maruki. How was school?” Saeko was a polite and beautiful woman now that she got out of her old line of work. Her cheerful tone was like that of a typical mother; it was disgusting, she was never like this before.

Maruki placed his shoes in the shoe rack under the bench, sliding his feet into his nice warm slippers. With no eye contact Maruki gave a simple response as he rudely walked passed his mother, almost pushing her out of the way. 

“Good.” Maruki was still upset about Miyuki that he was even being cold towards his mother. He started up the stairs, stopping on the third step when his mother called up to him.

“Did something happen, Maruki?” While never so inclusive to her children or in their lives in general anymore, she did still have concern for her son’s wellbeing. “Do you want to talk about it?” It was because of a mother’s intuition that she knew something was wrong the instant she saw his face, if he did not want to talk about it she would not force him.

Maruki paused a moment, hesitant of his actions. He turned and sent a fake, bright smile to his mother in hopes of covering up his true feelings. 
“Nothing mom, I’ll be in my room. No need to call me for dinner, I’ll eat when I am hungry.” Maruki giggled as he would on a regular basis, and ran up the stairs to the safety of his room. Reaching the safe haven that was his clean and organized bedroom, he slammed the door and collapsed back against it. This was too much to process in a day: first day of school with new classes and teachers, peers google eyeing him all day, fighting with Aiya, and worst of all Miyuki; it was too much for an eleven year old boy in middle school.

Saeko knew that Maruki was covering up something that was on his mind, it was something all teenagers did to their parents. Her oldest child did it all the time. Now her daughter was moved out, living in an apartment with two of her friends near her work in the city. 

Maruki threw himself down on his bed not even undressing from his school uniform. His formally ragged twin bed had changed for the better since his primary days, now a queen sized sophisticated bed for a hard working middle school student. Not moments after he had relaxed and shut his eyes on his bed in a comfortable position, his phone rang. He was not old enough for a cell phone but his parents gave him one anyway, heavily slapping his hand around on his side table, groping for his flip-phone, he finally found it, after letting it ring a few times before he flipped it open and heavily dropped the speaker to his ear. Only one person ever called him only one person was in his contacts, Aiya, so he did not know why he was taking his sweet time answering the phone.

“Aidou, what’s up?” Maruki was calm and cool in answering the phone. He was upset but he wished not to make Aiya upset, he did not want Aiya to know how exhausted he really was.

Aiya chuckled slightly as to how Maruki answered the phone it was cute and thoughtful, yet somehow upsetting.

“Stop calling me that Maruki. Really, you don’t have to.” Aiya was sweet when he spoke to Maruki, his feet kicking the air as he looked at his school uniform hanging on the back of the door. 

Maruki smiled even though no one was around to see. 

“I like calling you it though, I don’t know how I ever forgot it.” There was a long pause between the both of them, Maruki found himself looking around the room blankly. “Do you remember how you got that name, Aiya?” Maruki’s vivid memory played back that scene in his head suddenly. A memory that was small, yet very significant to both Aiya and Maruki. 

When they were both entering first year elementary school, Aiya had found a lost stray puppy under a bridge in a sealed box, how someone could do that he would never know. knowing full well he could not take it home, him and Maruki kept it in an alleyway near a park under a HVAC to a local building.  For they were only children, no one would allow them to buy food for the dog without their parents’ permission, so they had resorted to sneaking out leftovers and scraps from dinner the night before. While food was harder to access for the young six and seven-year-olds, water was no problem to leave for the puppy. One day, months after finding it the two returned before school to feed it and take care of it to last him until the next morning. Maruki and Aiya had found the almost fully-grown puppy dead. It was attacked by a wild animal in the night that most likely came from the park. The puppy, not having finished its food from the day before made him an easy target for the animal that was attracted to the scent of food, it came to take the food it scrounged for. The still very small Shiba Inu tried to fight it off, but lost. It was hard to see their loved pet, while a stray they considered it theirs, lying there on the the ground under the flap of the cardboard box home they made for it. Its eyes were closed softly and peacefully, it lay curled up in a ball in the towel bed they made for it; while his neck was stained in old blood and looked painful, he seemed to pass peacefully and with no more pain. Maruki and Aiya were attached to the animal, they even gave it a name. Its name came from Aiya would feed him everyday with the same Tupperware container and when he placed the container down, the pup would bark in thanks. Each time, Aiya would say ‘Douita’ to say “you’re welcome” to the pup, thus giving the pup his name. With the love the two young boys had for their pup, they decided to keep his legacy alive by giving the nickname to Aiya, ‘Ai’ for Aiya found it, and ‘Dou’ from what he would say to it everyday. ‘Aidou’ was also an term for ‘Idol’, of which he did not consider himself, but the idea was fun to have. Even though Douita passed away, he would always be with Aiya in name and spirit.

Aiya smiled as well, staring at his door. He was dressed in his nightwear now even though it was still very early, knowing he wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.

“All right, Maa-chan.” Aiya’s voice was low, like a whisper. His mother was walking outside the door and he feared her finding out that he was talking on the phone. 
“So, I called for a reason, Maa-chan.”
 Somehow over all of these years, micro-actions like these have always gone unnoticed.

At that moment Maruki’s heart leapt into his throat. In the back of his mind, he was hoping that Aiya was not going to say what he was thinking. 

“Why is that Aiya?” Maruki was a little worried now, hoping that Miyuki did not go to Aiya’s home after he left.

Aiya was slightly excited about his news he almost couldn’t speak. Soft ruffles could be heard on the phone, Aiya rolled over onto his back and sprawled out on his unmade bed.

“Miyuki asked me out on a date.” With a little excitement in his voice, he finally spilled his news. 

Maruki punched the pillow on his lap hard. A loud thump echoed through his room. Though he was shocked, Maruki was not quite stolen of his words yet. 


“What?” An even louder echo bellowed though his clean room, Maruki knew Miyuki was up to no good when he found her sitting outside of Aiya’s house after school.

Aiya chuckled, a hand running through his thick, black hair. 

“I know! That’s what I said.” Aiya sounded almost as shocked at Maruki was yet he did not know that Maruki was shocked for all sorts of different reasons. Aiya had thought that Maruki was on his side about this good news. “A girl never asks a boy out, right?” Aiya was adorable and happy, but very naïve. And this was one of many reasons as to why Maruki had to always make sure that he was all right and safe on a daily basis.

Maruki jumped to his feet, his hand grasping to his pillow tightly, trying to not scream some sense into his friend over the phone. “Aiya, you can’t go out with her!” For a first day back at school, this was already too much drama, every school had some drama, but not this much this fast. 

“She is going to ruin you, can’t you see that?” Maruki felt his heart in his throat, throbbing painfully. He was holding back from screaming in worry, sadness and even anger towards Aiya. The burning in his eyes was hard to ignore as he held back tears for his friend.

Aiya sat up in his bed, cross-legged and innocent in his mannerisms. He could easily hear that Maruki did not want him seeing her. Was Maruki thinking that a girlfriend could take him away from this friendship? Was he jealous of him finally having the possibility of having a girlfriend and he had still never gotten that opportunity? 

“Maruki, stop. You don’t have to watch out for me every moment of my life.” For once Aiya spoke in a stern tone, this was very unlike him. Though he felt a tight knot in his throat, he had never spoken like that to anyone, let alone Maruki. “I like Miyuki still. She asked me out, and I am going to try for this chance. It doesn’t come often, you know?” The naïve tone in his voice proved he had no idea what was going to happen if he had actually agreed to go out with the one Maruki called ‘The Harpy,’ her only intentions were to get Aiya vulnerable and destroy him.

Maruki knew this all too well, there was never getting in the middle of a kid and their first crush, they were always blind to the facts in front of them. Him and Aiya have been the same their entire lives; intellectual, athletic, talented in different aspects, yet always quiet. They did not like to talk to anyone but each other because opening up to someone and making oneself vulnerable was much more difficult than to lie to someone to avoid speaking with them.

“Aidou, I do know.” His voice was weak, he knew there was no talking some sense into Aiya. Sadness of the past pains were flooding back all at once, how could Aiya forget about all of them? 

“I just want you to be careful, you are like a brother to me.” Knowing that Aiya was not going to listen almost hurt. Maruki knew the feelings he held for Miyuki, and he knew he couldn’t change them, they would have to be changed on their own. Maruki closed his eyes slowly, taking in a slow quiet breath, what was this knot he was feeling? Jealousy? Anger? Fear? There was no way to tell in this situation.

Letting out a small sigh, Aiya flopped back down on his bed. Pulling the mismatched blankets up to his shoulders lazily rolling onto his side.

“I’ll be fine, Maruki, okay?” Aiya’s tone had seemed to die down a little, but he was still frustrated at Maruki’s attitude towards the situation. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, why could he not just be happy for him? Not having the approval of his best friend was the same to him as it was for others to not have their parent approve of their partner. “Please Maruki, let me do something alone for once.” Aiya begged quietly, while he was only twelve, he had matured a lot since he had first fallen for Miyuki. To finally be able to do something independently, to him, showed growth and one step closer to adulthood.

There was no way Maruki could help the situation it was going to be inevitable for Aiya to do what he had already set his mind to. 

“Okay Aiya, do what you want.” Maruki was angry out of hurt which was a position where people usually said things they would regret later for all they did was hurt others who had hurt them. “But if she hurts you don’t come running to me.” It was a rather difficult sentence to allow pass over his tongue, having never said anything negative to Aiya before, but his mouth was running before his brain told it what to say. Maruki had never even said ‘no’ to Aiya before and while Aiya getting hurt had not happened yet, he knew it would happen eventually.

Maruki fell silent for a moment, small chopped breaths could be heard in the receiver, he was trying to hold back tears. Aiya thought long and hard about his response, he was going to be as mature about this and level headed as possible.

“Thank you, Maruki. I’m sure I’ll be fine on my own anyway. I mean, how difficult can a girl be, right?” A small nervous laugh left Aiya’s lips, he obviously did not know what girls were like. Aiya fell silent for a moment as well, thinking about a different subject to talk about so they both could forget about it and talk normally again hopefully moving passed this awkward subject. “So, first year Middle School. Are you excited Maru-chan?” Aiya was happy and cheerful, trying to cheer up Maruki.

It wasn’t difficult to ignore Aiya’s attempt to cheer him up, it was his purity and innocence that he loved about Aiya. Maruki let out a small happy chuckle and, his eyes lit up once again.

“I think I’m ready for whatever Middle School throws at me. Don’t you, Aidou?” Maruki pushed aside all of his feelings of Aiya wanting to date Miyuki easily. “Are you excited to be back at school?” Maruki asked sweetly in return, finally sitting back down on his soft bed scooting himself back to lie back down on his bed. Maruki placed his phone on his pillow having Aiya on speakerphone, he was getting tired already.

Aiya took a small breath about to respond but a small crash coming from the kitchen cut him off, followed by shouts and screams, even Maruki could hear them on the phone. 

“Shit. Maru-chan, I have to go, I’m sorry.” His mother was drunk again and getting angry at something yet again. Aiya would have hung up right away, but he wanted to hear Maruki say good-bye to him.

Maruki made a small noise, hoping Aiya would be all right.

“Wait, what?” He sat up quickly, grabbing the phone quickly. “What’s going on?” Panic set in his heart, there was a loud noise where Aiya was, and he had not been around to help. Aiya made a small sound and let off a low groan. “Talk to me, Ai.” Maruki pleaded. If there was any danger, he would be over there as fast as he could be. What would happen if he was hurt?

Aiya whimpered a bit, not knowing how to tell him, it was maybe time that he told Maruki about it, but there was no time now.

“It’s nothing, really.” Another crash came from the kitchen, this time it was the sound of breaking glass. “I’ll tell you about it later.” He quickly hung up the phone, leaving Maruki listening to the painful silence of worry and fear as to what it was that was wrong.

Push! For My Heart

Push! For My Heart

Chapter II:

While preschool and primary school was easy for both of the younger boys, when kindergarten came and gone, it was apparent that Maruki was able to skip ahead a grade and be in all of the same classes as Aiya. At the age of seven and eight, when elementary school had begun, it was when it became more difficult for Aiya, however it was not for Maruki. The simple math of addition and subtraction with the multiplication and division of numbers three and under were mundane to Maruki. The language class was a bit more simple for Aiya, however it was his lack of trying to learn proper structure and contractions were what held him back some. He knew he could perform well in English, but having Maruki there to help him every step of the way, he felt that he did not need to try, because he had his own personal tutor. 

Through the years of preschool to the end of elementary school, things were going rather well for Aiya at home. He would have his daily lessons from Maruki who of which was always glad to help him. His mother had still never worked and lived off the government’s money hand-outs which never aided in the fact that she would always be at home, and had no friends; not even Mrs. Kaore anymore. Well, at least that what had everyone had seen to be true, Aiya held a secret that he had not even told his best friend. There was a heavy burden that weighed on his shoulders that somehow became a part of him, while it caused problems, he seemed to address it as if it were just another daily task that occurred in the home of the Hitomi’s.

Grade four is when it became more stressful for Aiya but not Maruki, while it was more daunting to think and stress about, there was no challenge that Maruki would not face head-on. Grade four, the addition of a new language, more difficult additions to already existing courses, and worst of all, graded papers. It was those report cards that most children got upset about, whether they were trying their hardest or not, their report card only showed one side of the attempt; the failed or passed attempt. Somehow, they had made it though all of grade four and five. Maruki with flying colours, Aiya with above average yet still subpar marks in his own eyes.

Grade six was a turning point for Aiya academically, some switch had flipped in his brain that suddenly made him understand the subjects he had problems with for years. Those math problems and tables of multiplication one division suddenly became a second nature to him. English and language class became a breeze, he was even reading at a higher grade level and began to enjoy reading. Maruki’s view on the difficulty of grade school classes had not changed in the sixth grade, just as the years before, he was always a perfect-grade student.

First year of middle school, now at the age of adolescence yet still not fully matured. By this point, everyone at that age knew their bodies were changing; some for the better, most for the worst, temporarily of course. The two boys have grown into some of their matured features, yet have not fully reached maturity and would not for a while, until at least high school. Over the summer before middle school classes began, Aiya and Maruki had grown enough to fit perfectly into their new school uniforms; solid black school uniform blazers and dress pants both of which had white trims at the seams, a stiff collared white dress shirt, and the finishing shiny black shoes. Over all, it was a boring and standard uniform. Arriving at a new school with students from other elementary schools, there were many new faces to see as well as the odd familiar one, because there were so many other school options in the city not many would go to the same school by chance. Standing at the gates, gleaming in the morning sunlight in his pressed clean uniform of a black blazer, snug to the hip over an ivory white dress shirt, topped off with a black silk tie and a gold tie pin, and long slender black pants that matched the blazer. There was a small hole on the collar for the identifying class pin that they would be receiving in homeroom. Maruki had smiled as he walked up to his rosebud that seemed as real as the dew on the petals of a rose. While they had only seen each other the week before, the it was more apparent that the rosebud had grown taller than him over the summer, especially when he could be compared to other classmates they knew from elementary school. Both boys nodded to each other and headed to the class board to see what classes they were in. 

Surrounded by dozens of other students, the class board was hard to get to, or so the two boys thought. Attending a mixed school, boys and girls intermingled to gain confidence around each other. Away for the summer holiday, most students didn’t come in contact with each other due to most attending different camps and activities. A small voice came from the back of the crowd, asking permission to get through to the front, everyone ignored or didn’t hear. The first few times, the timid voice called out, it was ignored, everyone seemed to be a little more cutthroat this year because this was the first step to adulthood.. Finally after a tap on the shoulder to a random student in the crowd, the voice was no longer ignored. The chatter of the students slowly died down to a silent crowd. Each obnoxious student stopped and stared at Maruki and Aiya. 

Maruki tilted his head and looked around at the crowd of silent spectators. His full pink lips parted in utter confusion. Quiet squeaks passed airily through his lips, yet no words could be uttered. Maruki couldn’t figure out why everyone was staring so intently, at them, it was as if they had all thought the two died but were miraculously standing in front of them.

“May we, uh p-pass?” the small boy asked softly with a small stutter. With that, the silent crowd parted quickly in a scuttle, making a pathway straight to the class listing board. Maruki made a small sound and bowed his head to multiple students as he passed them to get to the board. Aiya and Maruki scanned over the list quickly, nervous with all the eyes on them still. A finger gliding down the paper, name after name and neither could be found. Maruki had scanned over a few papers before finally seeing his name, this is when it became stressful for him. A sigh of relief passed his lips, Maruki finally found Aiya’s name on the same paper as his, he clenched his fist and smiled at Aiya, they were in the same class this year again. “Yeah.” The young teen cheered, looking up at his friend. “Same class again Ai-chan!” the two boys walked out of the strangely quiet crowd quickly and headed off to the classroom they were assigned to for the year.

It had not even passed noon and yet throughout the day, Maruki and Aiya received many envelopes and invitations. Where did they get them from? Did they carry them with them at all times for ‘emergencies’ like these? Maruki ducked his head and darted for empty rooms at ever possibility, he would hide behind walls from crowds of peers or dart into the boys’ restrooms to stay safe. Still young in the day, and both Maruki and Aiya were exhausted from running around. Their last stop of refuge was in the school auditorium lighting room, a place were no one would think to look, mainly because it was the first day and there were no productions going on yet. Sitting as silently as they could, mere soft breathing could be heard by each other. The room was dark, only the light of the equipment and lights entering from the large window from the auditorium’s glass doors’ it was nearly half an hour before Maruki decided to finally speak.

“Ne, Ai-chan, do you know what is with everyone today?” He spoke in nothing but a mere whisper, while they were far from any hallway door he did not want to take any risks. Maruki asked his friend softly “everyone is acting very weird.” Concluding his thought himself, as well as answering his own rhetorical question, Maruki looked away to a darkened black wall. The idea of middle school was exciting, but if school would be like this everyday, Maruki thought to himself that he might not want to continue.

Aiya ran a beautiful hand through his jet-black hair, a light groan leaving his rosebud lips. 

“I don’t know Maa-chan, I have never seen anyone act like this before.” Confused about the entire situation, for Aiya was never one to be the centre of attention for good reason, he was not at all charismatic and was very shy. He dropped his chin to his chest, all he could do was huff at the thought of him ever becoming the centre of attention. “It’s like a damn drama.” He huffed quietly.

Maruki could not help but let out a small laugh at Aiya’s cute remark about drama. To Maruki this was not a drama it was more like a nightmare, for he never liked have attention on himself either. The bell for class change was barely audible in the almost sound proof, secluded room. Both boys looked to the other and sighed softly, this was their last moment of isolation until school had ended for the day. A moment of silence past before they both rose to their feet and dusted off their uniforms of any possible wrinkles or dust. Exiting the auditorium, one brave girl approached the two from a passing by crowd. Not even having left the doorway of the auditorium, Maruki and Aiya were left standing there with their hands in their pockets, one holding the heavy door open awkwardly. The young girl’s eyes darted from boy to boy, though Maruki was short, the girl was still shorter. Feeling subordinate, the young girl’s face lit up in a bright rose blush. Her eyes now darting to the floor and back the boys’ faces, a small slender finger twirled some hair that hung down in her face. 

“Hello Ayatsu-kun, Ezaki-kun. Did you two enjoy your vacation?” The small quiet mumble escaped the girls lips, in an apparent shaky voice she was obviously nervous, for what reason they did not know. Both boys glanced at each other for a few moments, locking eyes in a silent conversation of micro facial expressions. Nodding in agreement, they silently answered the girl’s noninvasive question. Slowly, their gaze returned to the girl and crowd in front of them, Aiya’s arm beginning to shake from holding the heavy door open with an outstretched arm. She lowered her head, and took a calming deep breath.

“You two look different from the last time I saw you.” Dancing around the subject was not a normal action for a popular student. 

Once again the boys looked at each other, her words seemed to have caught their attention. Not only was she talking to them, an occurrence that never happened in the prior school year, but she was also attempting to compliment them. This got Maruki to think it was an act to have a reason to talk to them which could be worrisome. Aiya nodded his head in a hesitant, questionable manner.

“I, uh, got a haircut not too long ago?” The young black haired boy responded in a nervous, higher register, hopefully answering her question.

Quickly the girl clapped her hands together over her mouth, making a small noise at the cute reply. She agreed with Aiya for only a moment before letting her brows furrow, contemplating what Aiya had just said, she had obviously had a robotic response prepared, however it was not the answer she was expecting. The girls round, almost black eyes fell to her fiddling fingers. Nothing ran through Maruki’s and Aiya’s head but confusion. A small nervous chuckle came from the girl as she tossed her hair and looked back up at the boys. She knew if she didn’t say anything in the next three seconds, they would most likely leave. 

“No, its not that.” The girl paused in awe for a moment “it’s just that—” The girl could not finish a sentence from sheer embarrassment. Maruki placed a hand on his hip, he knew what was going on and it began to frustrate him. He gently tossed his pin-straight, black hair out of his eyes and gave a quick lick of his full lips, allowing a small sigh to pass. Dropping his hands to his sides again, Maruki tapped Aiya’s thigh with the back of his hand to catch his attention. He silently tossed his head to Aiya, signalling he was leaving. He knew where the girl was going with her thought and Maruki didn’t have time for her, there was far more important things going to be happening in middle school than confessions. The girl needed to stop Maruki from walking away, she reached out for his shoulder to stop him, she grasped a slender hand on his small shoulder, which got him to turn quickly. Maruki’s almond-shaped eyes narrowed darkly at the girl, he obviously did not want to be touched. At the sight of the glare, she quickly removed her hand, holding both behind her back so she would not attempt to touch either of them again. “—You both are very handsome now.” The girl was obviously very nervous now her rapid, high-pitched squeak spoke more than her words did. She quickly stepped back to her group of friends across the hall, not feeling as safe anymore. Her thoughts of what the two would think of her now were going crazy. They may have been the quiet ones, but she really did not know what they were like away from the school scene.

Aiya looked at the girl stunned his feminine, lined eyes were wide with surprise. Quickly he looked to his friend with the same look of confusion. The suggestion of the haircut was much less awkward then this, why could she not just agree to it? Aiya was still shocked at the girl’s statement, knowing now why everyone was acting weird all day. Aiya was never good with compliments, even more so if they were coming from the popular students. The group of peers that hated these two the prior year, were now following them around like a fan group. Constant insults of appearance and intelligence, rumours spread from the last school. The year’s before memories would not be erased so easily from such a simple compliment. He took Aiya’s forearm and pulled him into the hall, indicating that he was going to leave and take Aiya with him. Looking back at the girl, his round eyes narrowed darkly in Miyuki’s direction. Maruki’s hand slid down to Aiya’s and folded his fingers in between Aiya’s when he looked forward again.

“Thank you for your honesty, Miyuki.” Maruki exclaimed coldly over his shoulder, of which he shifted slightly, brushing the girl off. Almost roughly pulled Aiya off to their last class of the day, his grip remained tight to Aiya’s.

Having turned the corner walking a little ways before speaking his mind, Aiya ripped his arm from Maruki’s grip.

“Maruki!” He shouted before a silent whisper that no others would hear, a voice chased after his only and best friend who stood ahead of him, now still. Aiya looked sternly at Maruki waiting for him to turn around, while one could not tell if he was happy or angry, Maruki knew that he was upset at him.

Maruki slowly turned, his almond eyes glassed over with concern.

“Do you remember what they said about you last year Ai?” A small, gentle sigh and soft eyes, took Aiya’s breath away. It was back, the one thing Aiya loved so much about Maruki, his care and protection for him and only him. “Now they notice you?” He continued quickly. “Because of what, you’ve grown taller? You gained muscle or are losing your baby fat?” A tone of sternness and determination in his voice now, he could not hold his thoughts back about the harpy. His logical sense of the world was being applied to this event, knowing that middle school aged kids did develop most of their bodily changes.

 “No. Aiya, you deserve better than that.” Maruki’s stern, yet tender tone came from the heart, he could never let anything bad to happen to his only friend. “You are so much better than that. The positive opinions of others should not be the deciding factor that makes you forget all the negativity they had caused you in the past.” Maruki was only concerned for Aiya because of what they had both been through for the eight years they have already been in school together. It was Aiya’s soft features and fear to speak up for himself that made him an easy target for bullies, and if he were to listen to this façade of attraction, it would only continue his attacks from his peers. 

“You mean too much to me to have someone’s infatuation with a newer version of you, and a half-assed attempt at a compliment to have them steal you away from me.” Maruki’s tone became more tender, a tone that was only reserved for Aiya’s ears. While he was angry at the situation that Miyuki had caused, there was no way he could stay angry at Aiya.

Aiya froze, it was difficult to keep from tearing up. Maruki was right, that group of friends threatened him badly the year before. Now that they called him handsome, they said they wanted him to be their friend. Aiya was easy to trust people, he trusted everyone for their word, up until he was given a reason not to, even then he would still trust them in fear of losing them. Aiya was like a puppy, even if he was yelled at or hurt, he would still keep coming back. Aiya sighed softly, looking down at Maruki. He slowly placed a hand on his shoulder and took a step passed him, talking over his shoulder. 

“Thank you Maa-chan.” Saying anymore than a simple ‘thank-you’ could not be done, fighting back from crying was hard enough as it was. Maruki was right anyway, there was no point in arguing with him, and there was nothing to question. In his mind, Aiya wanted to protest and argue just to hear more of Maruki’s caring, straightforward words, but he refused. 

Maruki kept a close eye on Aiya, his lips parted slightly with the passion to say more but he decided to remain silent and keep his mouth shut. Maruki’s dark round eyes lead him to turn and follow Aiya quietly, in order to ensure that he was to stay by his side, Maruki had grabbed Aiya’s hand again, there was no knowing where Miyuki was and he didn’t want her coming around again. Their last class was Science, not Maruki’s favourite subject, but it was Aiya’s. He loved it, something about the theories and experiments made him fall in love with it at a young age. There was a certain structure to it that reminded him of mathematics, the puzzle solving and the experiments with different formulas made it fun for him. The two boys ignored the banters and mumbles as they lead themselves to the second building. With only seconds to spare, they had made it into their seats before the second bell rang. Sitting in the back quietly, Maruki’s arms were folded across his chest as he slouched down into his chair. Aiya sat next to him propped up in his seat neat and proper. His soft eyes glanced over every once in a while to Maruki cutely. Maruki was so serious, staring at the front of the classroom, waiting for the teacher. 

The teacher tapped her papers back into an organized pile before setting them back on the table at the entrance of the classroom. She cleared her throat to begin her opening speech.

“Welcome to first year Science everyone. I hope you all had an enjoyable summer, but as of now, there will be little room for playing around.” The teacher spoke as she took her spot at the small desk at the front of the class “This is science everyone, meaning there will be new material everyday, home study issued three times a week, and experiments every Thursday.” She explained the basics of the layout for the semester in one sentence. However, there was still to be a handout giving a detailed schedule as to what would happen everyday.

Maruki kept his eyes down, staring at the surface of the desk, his arms still folded across his small chest. He planned on staying silent as long as he possibly could. So far, the class was going smoothly, role call was done, requiring only his name. The first pre-test was finished with ease, and the experimental pairing was finished, he obviously chose Aiya for his partner. The last bell rang, class was out already, and the freedom to retreat early was at hand. Maruki had waited for everyone to leave the room before he even decided to get up. Seeing Maruki wait Aiya chose to as well, not wanting to leave alone. Aiya’s eyes were locked on Maruki, he unconsciously bit his bottom lip in thought, wondering what Maruki was thinking to make him want to stay behind. Teacher was gathering all her material together before she was to return to Teacher’s Lounge. With them sitting there still and in silence, she hardly noticed the two sitting there. “Oh, boys. Is something concerning you?” She asked moving towards their desks, wondering if they had any second thoughts about being in her class or having questions on the content.

Maruki was intelligent, bright, friendly, and apparently in the eyes of his peers, he was also good looking. With all that it was hard to see, that Maruki was also very emotional, it was almost as if he wore his heart on his sleeve; however, when it came to strangers or peers, there was no empathy from him. Without looking at his the teacher, he pushed the chair back loudly, standing upright and walked out of the classroom quickly without saying a word. Though he left Aiya sitting in the classroom alone, he waited for him outside on the other side of the hall, looking out the window into the courtyard. Aiya bowed to the teacher that was stunned to see a student dart out of the room so quickly. Aiya left the classroom into the now empty halls. Looking out to the lush green courtyard, he stood silently next to Aiya, the beginning of his sprouting height over Maruki was very apparent without the contrast of other students in the halls. Though Aiya decided not to speak, Maruki did. Without looking at his best friend, Maruki spoke with a quiver in his voice.

“You still have feelings for her, don’t you, Aidou?” looking over his shoulder to the other, Maruki sighed softly. While he gave Aiya no time to answer, he already knew what he was going to say. Of course he still had feelings for her.

Aiya froze once again, Maruki always knew how to make him breathless. 

“Aidou?” He repeated to himself softly under his breath. “You haven’t called me that for years.” Aiya whimpered softly. It was a short period of time, that the nickname lasted, but it meant the world to Aiya. Only him and Maruki knew the meaning behind it. “Ai” written in Kanji, and “Dou” Spelled in Katakana. A few moments of silence passed between the two before Aiya had nodded in shame to Maruki, biting his lip softly. 
“I do, Maa-chan” Aiya had feeling for Miyuki ever since she transferred to their school in mid-elementary school. Aiya stared at Maruki for a moment, Maruki didn’t say anything at all, leading him to the thought that he was mad. 
“Maruki, please don’t be mad.” Shifting on his heel to face him, Aiya sighed softly. A slender, beautiful hand reaching out to Maruki’s shoulder, turning him to face Aiya.

Maruki kept his eyes off of Aiya for only a moment, focusing on the grass down in the courtyard that blew gently in the small breeze. His round, almost sad eyes raised to meet Aiya’s.

“It’s not that I’m mad at you, Aidou.” After a short pause Maruki suddenly pulled Aiya into a tight hug, his face nuzzling into Aiya’s collarbone, thus further proving how short he really was. He held Aiya tightly. “You are my best friend, and I can’t stand seeing a pretty girl hurt people for fun, especially you. All they see it as is entertainment.” Sadness of harsh past memories was flooding Maruki’s mind. Aiya’s birthday party, the school hiking trip, summer camp, the grocery store incident, Maruki may not have been there for all of Aiya’s embarrassing and even traumatizing moments that were all caused by Miyuki, but he did know about them. Remembrances of these vivid memories were painful sometimes. 

Aiya was shocked by Maruki’s sudden actions, his heart-filled and plainly obvious words brought a tear to Aiya’s eye and they left a hard bump in his throat. 

“Maruki, please.” He whimpered softly against Maruki’s ear. This was all something he knew Maruki didn’t want to remember because he was like the big brother he never had even though he was younger than him. Maruki had always looked out for him and cared for him like an older brother should. 

“She is just so beautiful and—” He whimpered softly, tears beginning to soak into Maruki’s slick, black hair. It was mainly because he knew that it was not the description Maruki would use to describe her, however it was how Aiya had felt for almost three years now. The bump in his throat made it tough to swallow passed and continue.

Maruki let go of Aiya quickly, sighing softly. His glassed over eyes looked down to the newly waxed floor. 
“There are going to be many more girls, Aidou, nicer girls.” A heart filled friend-to-friend talk about girls would be in the near future, Maruki could see it. “You need to understand that.” Acting too serious sometimes was a common of an occurrence for Maruki, he would become serious to anything he needed to in order to keep Aiya from dating Miyuki if it ever lead to that. “She still hates you, she only wants to be around you now because you matured so quickly over the summer.” Maruki’s eyes narrowed, staring up at Aiya.

“she wants to be around you because you look good, where she is not wrong it’s still not because she likes you.” It was easily written all over Maruki’s face that he was trying to keep himself from crying. His true thoughts were just pouring from his full lips; with emotion he was feeling, he had not even realized that what he had said was insulting.

Aiya did not like seeing Maruki like this, he pulled Maruki back in for a hug. It was hard to hear, but it was also true, and he knew that.

“Let’s forget about this, okay?” Aiya did not want to see a single tear fall from Maruki’s eyes, they were welling up and it would kill him if any had escaped his fluttering lashes. Aiya pulled from the hug, puffed out his cheeks and crossed his eyes; overall, he looked rather goofy. A smile formed involuntarily over his full, puffy lips. With a little sniffle, Maruki nodded in agreement. Seeing the smile and the nod, he released the air from his cheeks, smiling down at Maruki.

“That’s good. Maru. That’s what I like to see.” Ai poked Maruki’s cheeks softly, and pulled his lips higher in a wider smile.