Push! For My Heart

Push! For My Heart

Chapter II:

While preschool and primary school was easy for both of the younger boys, when kindergarten came and gone, it was apparent that Maruki was able to skip ahead a grade and be in all of the same classes as Aiya. At the age of seven and eight, when elementary school had begun, it was when it became more difficult for Aiya, however it was not for Maruki. The simple math of addition and subtraction with the multiplication and division of numbers three and under were mundane to Maruki. The language class was a bit more simple for Aiya, however it was his lack of trying to learn proper structure and contractions were what held him back some. He knew he could perform well in English, but having Maruki there to help him every step of the way, he felt that he did not need to try, because he had his own personal tutor. 

Through the years of preschool to the end of elementary school, things were going rather well for Aiya at home. He would have his daily lessons from Maruki who of which was always glad to help him. His mother had still never worked and lived off the government’s money hand-outs which never aided in the fact that she would always be at home, and had no friends; not even Mrs. Kaore anymore. Well, at least that what had everyone had seen to be true, Aiya held a secret that he had not even told his best friend. There was a heavy burden that weighed on his shoulders that somehow became a part of him, while it caused problems, he seemed to address it as if it were just another daily task that occurred in the home of the Hitomi’s.

Grade four is when it became more stressful for Aiya but not Maruki, while it was more daunting to think and stress about, there was no challenge that Maruki would not face head-on. Grade four, the addition of a new language, more difficult additions to already existing courses, and worst of all, graded papers. It was those report cards that most children got upset about, whether they were trying their hardest or not, their report card only showed one side of the attempt; the failed or passed attempt. Somehow, they had made it though all of grade four and five. Maruki with flying colours, Aiya with above average yet still subpar marks in his own eyes.

Grade six was a turning point for Aiya academically, some switch had flipped in his brain that suddenly made him understand the subjects he had problems with for years. Those math problems and tables of multiplication one division suddenly became a second nature to him. English and language class became a breeze, he was even reading at a higher grade level and began to enjoy reading. Maruki’s view on the difficulty of grade school classes had not changed in the sixth grade, just as the years before, he was always a perfect-grade student.

First year of middle school, now at the age of adolescence yet still not fully matured. By this point, everyone at that age knew their bodies were changing; some for the better, most for the worst, temporarily of course. The two boys have grown into some of their matured features, yet have not fully reached maturity and would not for a while, until at least high school. Over the summer before middle school classes began, Aiya and Maruki had grown enough to fit perfectly into their new school uniforms; solid black school uniform blazers and dress pants both of which had white trims at the seams, a stiff collared white dress shirt, and the finishing shiny black shoes. Over all, it was a boring and standard uniform. Arriving at a new school with students from other elementary schools, there were many new faces to see as well as the odd familiar one, because there were so many other school options in the city not many would go to the same school by chance. Standing at the gates, gleaming in the morning sunlight in his pressed clean uniform of a black blazer, snug to the hip over an ivory white dress shirt, topped off with a black silk tie and a gold tie pin, and long slender black pants that matched the blazer. There was a small hole on the collar for the identifying class pin that they would be receiving in homeroom. Maruki had smiled as he walked up to his rosebud that seemed as real as the dew on the petals of a rose. While they had only seen each other the week before, the it was more apparent that the rosebud had grown taller than him over the summer, especially when he could be compared to other classmates they knew from elementary school. Both boys nodded to each other and headed to the class board to see what classes they were in. 

Surrounded by dozens of other students, the class board was hard to get to, or so the two boys thought. Attending a mixed school, boys and girls intermingled to gain confidence around each other. Away for the summer holiday, most students didn’t come in contact with each other due to most attending different camps and activities. A small voice came from the back of the crowd, asking permission to get through to the front, everyone ignored or didn’t hear. The first few times, the timid voice called out, it was ignored, everyone seemed to be a little more cutthroat this year because this was the first step to adulthood.. Finally after a tap on the shoulder to a random student in the crowd, the voice was no longer ignored. The chatter of the students slowly died down to a silent crowd. Each obnoxious student stopped and stared at Maruki and Aiya. 

Maruki tilted his head and looked around at the crowd of silent spectators. His full pink lips parted in utter confusion. Quiet squeaks passed airily through his lips, yet no words could be uttered. Maruki couldn’t figure out why everyone was staring so intently, at them, it was as if they had all thought the two died but were miraculously standing in front of them.

“May we, uh p-pass?” the small boy asked softly with a small stutter. With that, the silent crowd parted quickly in a scuttle, making a pathway straight to the class listing board. Maruki made a small sound and bowed his head to multiple students as he passed them to get to the board. Aiya and Maruki scanned over the list quickly, nervous with all the eyes on them still. A finger gliding down the paper, name after name and neither could be found. Maruki had scanned over a few papers before finally seeing his name, this is when it became stressful for him. A sigh of relief passed his lips, Maruki finally found Aiya’s name on the same paper as his, he clenched his fist and smiled at Aiya, they were in the same class this year again. “Yeah.” The young teen cheered, looking up at his friend. “Same class again Ai-chan!” the two boys walked out of the strangely quiet crowd quickly and headed off to the classroom they were assigned to for the year.

It had not even passed noon and yet throughout the day, Maruki and Aiya received many envelopes and invitations. Where did they get them from? Did they carry them with them at all times for ‘emergencies’ like these? Maruki ducked his head and darted for empty rooms at ever possibility, he would hide behind walls from crowds of peers or dart into the boys’ restrooms to stay safe. Still young in the day, and both Maruki and Aiya were exhausted from running around. Their last stop of refuge was in the school auditorium lighting room, a place were no one would think to look, mainly because it was the first day and there were no productions going on yet. Sitting as silently as they could, mere soft breathing could be heard by each other. The room was dark, only the light of the equipment and lights entering from the large window from the auditorium’s glass doors’ it was nearly half an hour before Maruki decided to finally speak.

“Ne, Ai-chan, do you know what is with everyone today?” He spoke in nothing but a mere whisper, while they were far from any hallway door he did not want to take any risks. Maruki asked his friend softly “everyone is acting very weird.” Concluding his thought himself, as well as answering his own rhetorical question, Maruki looked away to a darkened black wall. The idea of middle school was exciting, but if school would be like this everyday, Maruki thought to himself that he might not want to continue.

Aiya ran a beautiful hand through his jet-black hair, a light groan leaving his rosebud lips. 

“I don’t know Maa-chan, I have never seen anyone act like this before.” Confused about the entire situation, for Aiya was never one to be the centre of attention for good reason, he was not at all charismatic and was very shy. He dropped his chin to his chest, all he could do was huff at the thought of him ever becoming the centre of attention. “It’s like a damn drama.” He huffed quietly.

Maruki could not help but let out a small laugh at Aiya’s cute remark about drama. To Maruki this was not a drama it was more like a nightmare, for he never liked have attention on himself either. The bell for class change was barely audible in the almost sound proof, secluded room. Both boys looked to the other and sighed softly, this was their last moment of isolation until school had ended for the day. A moment of silence past before they both rose to their feet and dusted off their uniforms of any possible wrinkles or dust. Exiting the auditorium, one brave girl approached the two from a passing by crowd. Not even having left the doorway of the auditorium, Maruki and Aiya were left standing there with their hands in their pockets, one holding the heavy door open awkwardly. The young girl’s eyes darted from boy to boy, though Maruki was short, the girl was still shorter. Feeling subordinate, the young girl’s face lit up in a bright rose blush. Her eyes now darting to the floor and back the boys’ faces, a small slender finger twirled some hair that hung down in her face. 

“Hello Ayatsu-kun, Ezaki-kun. Did you two enjoy your vacation?” The small quiet mumble escaped the girls lips, in an apparent shaky voice she was obviously nervous, for what reason they did not know. Both boys glanced at each other for a few moments, locking eyes in a silent conversation of micro facial expressions. Nodding in agreement, they silently answered the girl’s noninvasive question. Slowly, their gaze returned to the girl and crowd in front of them, Aiya’s arm beginning to shake from holding the heavy door open with an outstretched arm. She lowered her head, and took a calming deep breath.

“You two look different from the last time I saw you.” Dancing around the subject was not a normal action for a popular student. 

Once again the boys looked at each other, her words seemed to have caught their attention. Not only was she talking to them, an occurrence that never happened in the prior school year, but she was also attempting to compliment them. This got Maruki to think it was an act to have a reason to talk to them which could be worrisome. Aiya nodded his head in a hesitant, questionable manner.

“I, uh, got a haircut not too long ago?” The young black haired boy responded in a nervous, higher register, hopefully answering her question.

Quickly the girl clapped her hands together over her mouth, making a small noise at the cute reply. She agreed with Aiya for only a moment before letting her brows furrow, contemplating what Aiya had just said, she had obviously had a robotic response prepared, however it was not the answer she was expecting. The girls round, almost black eyes fell to her fiddling fingers. Nothing ran through Maruki’s and Aiya’s head but confusion. A small nervous chuckle came from the girl as she tossed her hair and looked back up at the boys. She knew if she didn’t say anything in the next three seconds, they would most likely leave. 

“No, its not that.” The girl paused in awe for a moment “it’s just that—” The girl could not finish a sentence from sheer embarrassment. Maruki placed a hand on his hip, he knew what was going on and it began to frustrate him. He gently tossed his pin-straight, black hair out of his eyes and gave a quick lick of his full lips, allowing a small sigh to pass. Dropping his hands to his sides again, Maruki tapped Aiya’s thigh with the back of his hand to catch his attention. He silently tossed his head to Aiya, signalling he was leaving. He knew where the girl was going with her thought and Maruki didn’t have time for her, there was far more important things going to be happening in middle school than confessions. The girl needed to stop Maruki from walking away, she reached out for his shoulder to stop him, she grasped a slender hand on his small shoulder, which got him to turn quickly. Maruki’s almond-shaped eyes narrowed darkly at the girl, he obviously did not want to be touched. At the sight of the glare, she quickly removed her hand, holding both behind her back so she would not attempt to touch either of them again. “—You both are very handsome now.” The girl was obviously very nervous now her rapid, high-pitched squeak spoke more than her words did. She quickly stepped back to her group of friends across the hall, not feeling as safe anymore. Her thoughts of what the two would think of her now were going crazy. They may have been the quiet ones, but she really did not know what they were like away from the school scene.

Aiya looked at the girl stunned his feminine, lined eyes were wide with surprise. Quickly he looked to his friend with the same look of confusion. The suggestion of the haircut was much less awkward then this, why could she not just agree to it? Aiya was still shocked at the girl’s statement, knowing now why everyone was acting weird all day. Aiya was never good with compliments, even more so if they were coming from the popular students. The group of peers that hated these two the prior year, were now following them around like a fan group. Constant insults of appearance and intelligence, rumours spread from the last school. The year’s before memories would not be erased so easily from such a simple compliment. He took Aiya’s forearm and pulled him into the hall, indicating that he was going to leave and take Aiya with him. Looking back at the girl, his round eyes narrowed darkly in Miyuki’s direction. Maruki’s hand slid down to Aiya’s and folded his fingers in between Aiya’s when he looked forward again.

“Thank you for your honesty, Miyuki.” Maruki exclaimed coldly over his shoulder, of which he shifted slightly, brushing the girl off. Almost roughly pulled Aiya off to their last class of the day, his grip remained tight to Aiya’s.

Having turned the corner walking a little ways before speaking his mind, Aiya ripped his arm from Maruki’s grip.

“Maruki!” He shouted before a silent whisper that no others would hear, a voice chased after his only and best friend who stood ahead of him, now still. Aiya looked sternly at Maruki waiting for him to turn around, while one could not tell if he was happy or angry, Maruki knew that he was upset at him.

Maruki slowly turned, his almond eyes glassed over with concern.

“Do you remember what they said about you last year Ai?” A small, gentle sigh and soft eyes, took Aiya’s breath away. It was back, the one thing Aiya loved so much about Maruki, his care and protection for him and only him. “Now they notice you?” He continued quickly. “Because of what, you’ve grown taller? You gained muscle or are losing your baby fat?” A tone of sternness and determination in his voice now, he could not hold his thoughts back about the harpy. His logical sense of the world was being applied to this event, knowing that middle school aged kids did develop most of their bodily changes.

 “No. Aiya, you deserve better than that.” Maruki’s stern, yet tender tone came from the heart, he could never let anything bad to happen to his only friend. “You are so much better than that. The positive opinions of others should not be the deciding factor that makes you forget all the negativity they had caused you in the past.” Maruki was only concerned for Aiya because of what they had both been through for the eight years they have already been in school together. It was Aiya’s soft features and fear to speak up for himself that made him an easy target for bullies, and if he were to listen to this façade of attraction, it would only continue his attacks from his peers. 

“You mean too much to me to have someone’s infatuation with a newer version of you, and a half-assed attempt at a compliment to have them steal you away from me.” Maruki’s tone became more tender, a tone that was only reserved for Aiya’s ears. While he was angry at the situation that Miyuki had caused, there was no way he could stay angry at Aiya.

Aiya froze, it was difficult to keep from tearing up. Maruki was right, that group of friends threatened him badly the year before. Now that they called him handsome, they said they wanted him to be their friend. Aiya was easy to trust people, he trusted everyone for their word, up until he was given a reason not to, even then he would still trust them in fear of losing them. Aiya was like a puppy, even if he was yelled at or hurt, he would still keep coming back. Aiya sighed softly, looking down at Maruki. He slowly placed a hand on his shoulder and took a step passed him, talking over his shoulder. 

“Thank you Maa-chan.” Saying anymore than a simple ‘thank-you’ could not be done, fighting back from crying was hard enough as it was. Maruki was right anyway, there was no point in arguing with him, and there was nothing to question. In his mind, Aiya wanted to protest and argue just to hear more of Maruki’s caring, straightforward words, but he refused. 

Maruki kept a close eye on Aiya, his lips parted slightly with the passion to say more but he decided to remain silent and keep his mouth shut. Maruki’s dark round eyes lead him to turn and follow Aiya quietly, in order to ensure that he was to stay by his side, Maruki had grabbed Aiya’s hand again, there was no knowing where Miyuki was and he didn’t want her coming around again. Their last class was Science, not Maruki’s favourite subject, but it was Aiya’s. He loved it, something about the theories and experiments made him fall in love with it at a young age. There was a certain structure to it that reminded him of mathematics, the puzzle solving and the experiments with different formulas made it fun for him. The two boys ignored the banters and mumbles as they lead themselves to the second building. With only seconds to spare, they had made it into their seats before the second bell rang. Sitting in the back quietly, Maruki’s arms were folded across his chest as he slouched down into his chair. Aiya sat next to him propped up in his seat neat and proper. His soft eyes glanced over every once in a while to Maruki cutely. Maruki was so serious, staring at the front of the classroom, waiting for the teacher. 

The teacher tapped her papers back into an organized pile before setting them back on the table at the entrance of the classroom. She cleared her throat to begin her opening speech.

“Welcome to first year Science everyone. I hope you all had an enjoyable summer, but as of now, there will be little room for playing around.” The teacher spoke as she took her spot at the small desk at the front of the class “This is science everyone, meaning there will be new material everyday, home study issued three times a week, and experiments every Thursday.” She explained the basics of the layout for the semester in one sentence. However, there was still to be a handout giving a detailed schedule as to what would happen everyday.

Maruki kept his eyes down, staring at the surface of the desk, his arms still folded across his small chest. He planned on staying silent as long as he possibly could. So far, the class was going smoothly, role call was done, requiring only his name. The first pre-test was finished with ease, and the experimental pairing was finished, he obviously chose Aiya for his partner. The last bell rang, class was out already, and the freedom to retreat early was at hand. Maruki had waited for everyone to leave the room before he even decided to get up. Seeing Maruki wait Aiya chose to as well, not wanting to leave alone. Aiya’s eyes were locked on Maruki, he unconsciously bit his bottom lip in thought, wondering what Maruki was thinking to make him want to stay behind. Teacher was gathering all her material together before she was to return to Teacher’s Lounge. With them sitting there still and in silence, she hardly noticed the two sitting there. “Oh, boys. Is something concerning you?” She asked moving towards their desks, wondering if they had any second thoughts about being in her class or having questions on the content.

Maruki was intelligent, bright, friendly, and apparently in the eyes of his peers, he was also good looking. With all that it was hard to see, that Maruki was also very emotional, it was almost as if he wore his heart on his sleeve; however, when it came to strangers or peers, there was no empathy from him. Without looking at his the teacher, he pushed the chair back loudly, standing upright and walked out of the classroom quickly without saying a word. Though he left Aiya sitting in the classroom alone, he waited for him outside on the other side of the hall, looking out the window into the courtyard. Aiya bowed to the teacher that was stunned to see a student dart out of the room so quickly. Aiya left the classroom into the now empty halls. Looking out to the lush green courtyard, he stood silently next to Aiya, the beginning of his sprouting height over Maruki was very apparent without the contrast of other students in the halls. Though Aiya decided not to speak, Maruki did. Without looking at his best friend, Maruki spoke with a quiver in his voice.

“You still have feelings for her, don’t you, Aidou?” looking over his shoulder to the other, Maruki sighed softly. While he gave Aiya no time to answer, he already knew what he was going to say. Of course he still had feelings for her.

Aiya froze once again, Maruki always knew how to make him breathless. 

“Aidou?” He repeated to himself softly under his breath. “You haven’t called me that for years.” Aiya whimpered softly. It was a short period of time, that the nickname lasted, but it meant the world to Aiya. Only him and Maruki knew the meaning behind it. “Ai” written in Kanji, and “Dou” Spelled in Katakana. A few moments of silence passed between the two before Aiya had nodded in shame to Maruki, biting his lip softly. 
“I do, Maa-chan” Aiya had feeling for Miyuki ever since she transferred to their school in mid-elementary school. Aiya stared at Maruki for a moment, Maruki didn’t say anything at all, leading him to the thought that he was mad. 
“Maruki, please don’t be mad.” Shifting on his heel to face him, Aiya sighed softly. A slender, beautiful hand reaching out to Maruki’s shoulder, turning him to face Aiya.

Maruki kept his eyes off of Aiya for only a moment, focusing on the grass down in the courtyard that blew gently in the small breeze. His round, almost sad eyes raised to meet Aiya’s.

“It’s not that I’m mad at you, Aidou.” After a short pause Maruki suddenly pulled Aiya into a tight hug, his face nuzzling into Aiya’s collarbone, thus further proving how short he really was. He held Aiya tightly. “You are my best friend, and I can’t stand seeing a pretty girl hurt people for fun, especially you. All they see it as is entertainment.” Sadness of harsh past memories was flooding Maruki’s mind. Aiya’s birthday party, the school hiking trip, summer camp, the grocery store incident, Maruki may not have been there for all of Aiya’s embarrassing and even traumatizing moments that were all caused by Miyuki, but he did know about them. Remembrances of these vivid memories were painful sometimes. 

Aiya was shocked by Maruki’s sudden actions, his heart-filled and plainly obvious words brought a tear to Aiya’s eye and they left a hard bump in his throat. 

“Maruki, please.” He whimpered softly against Maruki’s ear. This was all something he knew Maruki didn’t want to remember because he was like the big brother he never had even though he was younger than him. Maruki had always looked out for him and cared for him like an older brother should. 

“She is just so beautiful and—” He whimpered softly, tears beginning to soak into Maruki’s slick, black hair. It was mainly because he knew that it was not the description Maruki would use to describe her, however it was how Aiya had felt for almost three years now. The bump in his throat made it tough to swallow passed and continue.

Maruki let go of Aiya quickly, sighing softly. His glassed over eyes looked down to the newly waxed floor. 
“There are going to be many more girls, Aidou, nicer girls.” A heart filled friend-to-friend talk about girls would be in the near future, Maruki could see it. “You need to understand that.” Acting too serious sometimes was a common of an occurrence for Maruki, he would become serious to anything he needed to in order to keep Aiya from dating Miyuki if it ever lead to that. “She still hates you, she only wants to be around you now because you matured so quickly over the summer.” Maruki’s eyes narrowed, staring up at Aiya.

“she wants to be around you because you look good, where she is not wrong it’s still not because she likes you.” It was easily written all over Maruki’s face that he was trying to keep himself from crying. His true thoughts were just pouring from his full lips; with emotion he was feeling, he had not even realized that what he had said was insulting.

Aiya did not like seeing Maruki like this, he pulled Maruki back in for a hug. It was hard to hear, but it was also true, and he knew that.

“Let’s forget about this, okay?” Aiya did not want to see a single tear fall from Maruki’s eyes, they were welling up and it would kill him if any had escaped his fluttering lashes. Aiya pulled from the hug, puffed out his cheeks and crossed his eyes; overall, he looked rather goofy. A smile formed involuntarily over his full, puffy lips. With a little sniffle, Maruki nodded in agreement. Seeing the smile and the nod, he released the air from his cheeks, smiling down at Maruki.

“That’s good. Maru. That’s what I like to see.” Ai poked Maruki’s cheeks softly, and pulled his lips higher in a wider smile.