Push! For My Heart

Push! For My Heart

Chapter IV:

For his entire life, even before he could remember even those times that his mind would block out to ignore the pain, he was severely abused at home and this secret was so burdening to him that he thought that even telling his best friend would be burden him out of wanting to have anything to do with him anymore; this was painfully his mentality for such a young child, everything was always his fault. One would think that keeping something so important a secret for so long was unhealthy, however when it came to Aiya’s situation, there was nothing more terrifying than someone finding out that his body was covered in scars, burns, and bruises almost daily. If the authorities were to ever find out, there may be a chance that he would never be heard of again, that was exactly how bad his mother was. Sometimes the deepest of secrets were hid in plain sight with hints and mannerisms pointing to all of the facts, yet no one thought to look. The hardest to look passed is those who will always make sure others are happy; those who wear a smile all the time, hide the darkest of pains.

After Aiya had hung up on him so suddenly, Maruki had lied back in bed as still as could be, his pillow covering his baby-like face from the light that flooded in from the large window. He could not recall when he fell asleep, but whenever it happened the position he fell asleep in was painful to wake from. Being only in his boxers, Maruki crawled finally under his down filled blanket and curled up in a ball, facing his cell phone just in case Aiya was to call again. Since he had just woke up his eyes were still heavy with sleep, he rolled onto his stomach to burying his face in the soft mattress. He was stressed about Aiya, the strange peers at school, first day back at school, it was all too much to take in. Not but a few minutes later, he fell right back asleep, his phone in hand still. Dreaming of nonsenses Maruki was tossing and turning, almost acting out his dreams. The ringing of his phone was coinciding with his dreams then it stopped momentarily, after a few moments, the ringing commenced again. Groaning heavily, Maruki blinked slowly before jolting awake, stammering for his phone he finally found it on the floor, thankfully answering it on the last ring before the voicemail would answer it.

“Ai-Aiya?” Maruki accidentally shouted into the phone without even realizing it, he was just panicked from the sound of his ringtone waking him suddenly. Maruki fell silent and surprised to hear sobbing from the other end of the line. 
“Aiya are you all right?” He couldn’t remember the last time he heard Aiya cry, let alone sobbing so heavily that he could hardly breathe. Hearing Aiya’s pain filled cries, it made his heart sink to the floor.

Aiya couldn’t stop himself from sobbing uncontrollably even though it was painful to even breath normally, Maruki knew right away that something was very wrong and Aiya needed immediate attention. Aiya sniffed loudly, him wiping his blocked and bloody nose could be heard over the phone. 


“Maruki.” Aiya managed to whimper softly his voice filled with winces of pain and defeat, his voice was slurred and muffled. “She hurt me again.” A small wince followed his pained comment, his former sweet voice quivered in fear and pain, it was raspy from crying for who knows how long, it was weak and sounded as if he even just gave up. This was something that Maruki never thought he would hear, and it pained him to know that someone was capable of causing anyone to feel like Aiya was right now.

Maruki sat up quickly, perhaps a little too quickly, he definitely pulled some muscles in his legs and back. He threw the blankets off of him as quickly as he could, already darting for his street clothes to go get Aiya from his house.

“AGAIN?!” He shouted loudly into the microphone. On Aiya’s side of the line the connection broke lightly, his speaker was not great with louder sounds and even crackled or completely cutout when the decibel was too high. “This has happened more than once? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you ok? Have you called the police?” So many questions, so little time to answer them all. 

Hiding in the pantry with the phone, Aiya was terrified his mother never hit him like that before. Instead of calling the police, where he wouldn’t feel safe talking, Aiya called Maruki who was the only person he could be open with; except for this secret he hid for so many years. For now Aiya didn’t need Maruki to say anything, just knowing he was there was good enough for him.

“Please help me.” He whimpered softly, he sounded like a hurt puppy. He spoke softly, not wanting to wake his mother who was off in the other room in fear she would be more upset knowing that he called someone telling them what was going on in the quarters of their home. There was nothing left in him, he it was almost as if he gave up and accepted that this was his fate, perhaps the pain would take him from that same pain in death. The fear of his mother was stronger than the fear of death, death almost seemed welcoming at this point. Before Maruki could say anything in return, a wince of pain exited his lungs sharply, he was almost sure that there was something broken.

Maruki had no idea what he could do to help, this was the first he had ever heard of this sort of emergency and had no idea how to deal with it. Pulling his phone from his face he saw that it was just before eleven in the evening meaning both his parents would be asleep at that point. Putting Aiya on speakerphone, he started to get dressed in silence.
“I’m coming over, Aiya, I’m going to come get you.” There were so may emotions that he was feeling, he could not even discern which emotions were apparent in his hushed voice. Grabbing a black graphic T and some dark washed jeans, he got dressed as fast as he could while still trying to be quiet, his small slightly chubby torso exposed in the low light of the cellphone screen. “Are you going to be okay until I get there, Ai?” Maruki’s voice was filled with concern. He didn’t want anything more to happen to his friend when there was nothing he could do to help. Maruki’s breath matched Aiya’s as he curled tightly into the corner of the small half metre by half meter pantry. 

Letting out shaking breaths and gasps of what Maruki could only assume were from bruised or broken ribs or pain elsewhere. There was nothing that Aiya could say to reassure Maruki, he was hurt, defeated, broken by the one person he should have full trust in; worst of all, now his friend knew the secret that he was hiding and would most likely judge him for staying around in silence for so long. He tried to speak, but all of the emotions of what had happened that night were all flooding back all of a sudden making his voice get caught in his throat. Aiya let out a slow and soft sigh as he tried to relax himself. He went to go straighten his arm to reach up to push the folding door open when he remembered it had hurt as well, a small winced passed his lips. He took a small breath and whispered softly in order not to wake his mother. 
“I’m think okay now Maru-chan. I’m just going to go back to bed, all right?” With pain still laced in his whimpers, this was something that he could not just forget.

Maruki was not going to let this go as easily as Aiya was. Even if it were just for the night, Maruki knew he had to get Aiya out of that house and possibly to a hospital. He threw his hand down on his bed sternly, he was serious about what he was about to say.

“Ai, you are going to pack a bag, and you are going to come and stay at my house until your mother smartens up.” He paused for a few moments, Aiya was silent and Maruki needed to know that he understood. “Okay, Ai?” Maruki was not going to allow someone who is supposed to be the sworn protector of their children treat his friend like this. Aiya was always his top priority and in a situation like this, it was even more so the case. At this point even not knowing all of the facts, he was tempted to call the police as soon as he got off of the phone with Aiya. 

Aiya was silent for a few moments it worried Maruki slightly, until small rustling could be heard, it sounded suspicious to Maruki. He listened carefully to what was going on. He couldn’t quite figure it out. His voice was hushed even lower as he made his way out of his door and down the hall to the stairs. It was a short few steps to the door from the bottom of the stairs, once he was at the bottom, he knew he would be safe from waking his parents.

“Ai, what are you doing?” With worry, Maruki tip-toed stiffly, hesitant in grabbing his shoes as he approached the foyer. He was   So worried that he was unaware that he had stopped breathing to listen more carefully to the speaker of his phone.

Aiya removed his palm from the folding pantry door and dropped it over his pained stomach, only to questionably tilt his head towards the phone against his ear. 

“What you told me to do, Maruki! Pack!” Maruki was very intelligent, but he sure had his stupid moments sometimes. It didn’t matter what it was, over time Aiya would always do what Maruki told him to do. Maruki’s decision was usually the right one after all. He continued quietly opening the door while saying no more to Maruki, with his hurt arm holding the phone to his ear because stretching out caused a shooting pain the radiate through his arm. His stronger arm helped him crawl out of the cupboard and helped push him to his feet as quietly as he could.

Maruki closed the front door as quietly as he could, not even thinking of locking it. As soon as he was in the dark and quiet residential streets, he started a full run the few blocks it was to Aiya’s house. It was moments like this that Maruki was glad he was on the track team in elementary school and planned to for his middle school years.

Aiya began packing as soon as he got to his room, dodging all of the creaks in the floors of the hallway; clean clothes, toiletries, school uniform, everything that could last him up to a week away from home while still attending school. Aiya remained on the phone with Maruki the whole time, hearing his now rushed breathing as be began to run down the streets. Talking or not, Aiya felt safer with Maruki on the line with him. Having changed from his pajamas, into something street worthy, Aiya was finally ready to leave his house. 

“Maru, I’m ready now.” Aiya seemed scared to hang up it showed in his hushed voice, but it was necessary if he wanted to leave. He zipped up his bag and slipped on his school shoes rather than his street shoes, for those were in the living room where his mother was.

With a huff in his voice, Maruki jumped from street to curb. The grass much quieter to run on this late at night.

“I’m almost there, meet me outside.” Without another word, Maruki hung up quickly which allowed him to sprint faster.

Aiya clicked the answer button on the cordless phone and tossed it on his bed haphazardly, there was no need to care if it were charged since he was technically running away. Silently rushing to the door as he dodged those creaks again, Aiya knew he would regret doing this, but it was for the better. Being careful of his arm, Aiya opened the door and snuck out without any notice. He ran as far as his pained ribs would allow, which was not very far. Down the street he could see Maruki’s running to him, which prompted him to stop; seeing his friend in person, he knew he was safe. 

The slapping of Maruki’s sneakers could be heard down the empty streets as he returned to the sidewalk. Heavier slaps echoed off of the bungalow homes as he came to a heavy stop in front of Aiya. While struggling to catch his breath, an expression of pain and worry painted his baby-like features, soon the anger set in when those dark bruises were visible in the low light of the streets. A lump in his throat made it that much harder to catch his breath, upon seeing those marks all over Aiya’s face as well as the dried blood from his nose, he was lost for words.

As soon as Maruki was in front of him, as much as it hurt everything, Aiya burst out in a wailing sob. He dropped his bag heavily to the concrete of the decrepit sidewalk, dropping to his knees soon after while folding his arm across his chest. There was a fear that he felt and an immense cloud that hung over his head for so long, seeing the one person that now knew of this cloud, it seemed relieving yet frightening. Maruki dropped to his knees heavily as he dropped to Aiya’s aid. A small hand reached out to Aiya’s chin, gently raising it to get a closer look at the surface wounds of his delicate features. Aiya closed his eyes gently, tears falling from the corners of his tulip buds, he felt too much shame to look at Maruki in a state like this.

“I’m so sorry, Maruki.” His weak, honeyed voice quivered through his persistent sobs. He was a victim of child abuse and at this moment he was severely beaten, yet all he could think was all of the problems that he would now cause his only friend. 

Maruki’s heart broke to Aiya’s words, he held a secret for so long and yet all he could do was apologize to him. Not knowing where anything hurt, Maruki stretched out his arms gently, inviting Aiya to hug him if he needed. At this, Aiya did not hesitate to embrace his friend’s welcoming comfort. Diving into his arms, he completely ignored the shooting pain in his chest, it all seemed to disappear as soon as he knew that Maruki being there was really real and not in his imagination.

“You have nothing to be sorry about Aiya.” His own voice quivered as it was forced over that large bump in his throat, it was very difficult to hold back his own tears. “I’m the one who should be sorry for not ever noticing something wasn’t right.” Having collapsed to the cold concrete, Maruki became a safely cushion for his delicate friend on top of him.

This embrace did not last long for while they were still outside of his house, they were not safe quite yet. It was Aiya who initiated them to leave, while they were a decent distance from his living room, the window still overlooked the street. Puffy, espresso coloured eyes peered to Maruki as he pushed himself from the concrete; it seemed painful to blink, a pain he had not noticed until now. 

Grabbing Aiya’s bag and slinging it over one shoulder as he stood, Maruki then offered a hand down to Aiya who was kneeling on his knees pondering how he would stand without causing himself anymore pain. Diving at his friend may have already caused more damage to his ribs, but at this moment it was hard to tell. He dropped his gaze to the ground, one arm slung across his chest, the other dropped to his side weakly.

“I can’t get up.” He whimpered softly. 

This prompt Maruki to drop to one knee at Aiya’s side, draping the stronger arm across his shoulder. With a shaky knee, he stood straight up while pulling Aiya to his feet. Silently and carefully, Maruki assisted Aiya all the way back to his house, soft sniffles drifting into his ear as Aiya tried to calm himself down still. 

Arriving back at Maruki’s a while later, he was surprised to see that the kitchen light was on. Sneaking into the door quietly, he gently sat Aiya down on the bench as he closed and locked the door behind him. Aiya leaned down, trying to untie his shoes, but to no avail could he even reach his feet. A look of surprise washed over Maruki’s features when he turned and saw Aiya struggling. Diving to sit on his heels, he rested Aiya’s heel in his lap and cupped his ankle in his small hand and untied his shoes slowly for him.

“I’ve got these, Aiya.” He whispered softly as he slipped Aiya’s shoes off quietly, placing them in the shoe rack underneath him just as quietly. Though the light was on, he tried to not draw attention to them in hopes to sneak back into his bedroom unnoticed. 

Just then his mother peeked her head around the corner from the kitchen, ready to scold her son for sneaking out of the house. She then was quite surprised to see Aiya who looked to be crying. The majority of his facial wounds were on the opposite cheek, so she did not even notice he was hurt. 


“Hey, mom, Aiya is having some troubles right now so I said he can stay here until things are sorted out.” Looking at Aiya, Maruki silently told him to cover his eyes with his hair to hide a forming bruise on his eye; the last thing he wanted was his mother asking question, at least for now until they decided what to do. On the inside, with clenching teeth, Maruki was angry to see those marks on Aiya’s face. 

“Tch… Is that all right, mom?” With a distinct sound of anger in his voice, Maruki pleaded to his mother.

Maruki snatched Aiya’s bag from the floor rather forcefully as he stood quickly, stepping in front of Aiya protectively from his mother’s curious eyes. She parted her lips to say something, but all she did was nod. Her son may have only been eleven, but seeing tears over his friend’s face and the anger in his voice, she knew there was something he was not telling her. Though he was not telling her, it was very mature of him to even go through the trouble to sneak out and help a friend in need. Taking her nod and silence as a good enough response, Maruki helped Aiya up gently, guiding him to his room at the top of the stairs. He was silent for a bit, guiding Aiya in and closing the door behind him, he quickly began getting everything ready for Aiya to sleep. Pulling out his spare futon mattress from under his bed, resetting his alarm clock, to get up for school the next day, and remaking his own bed. The whole time Aiya stood silently by the door, trying not to move. 

Maruki stopped once he was finished, staring silently down at the futon for a moment, letting out a small sigh. Maruki spun on his heels to face Aiya, he grabbed Aiya’s hand, the one that was not draped across his chest and pulled him to the side of his own bed. Without saying anything, Maruki’s gaze dropped to his hands which grabbed the hem of Aiya’s shirt and began lifting slowly and gently. Aiya tightened his arm around his chest and dropped the other hand quickly grabbing for his shirt to hold it down as a blush formed on his cheeks.

“What, what are you doing?” His voice shook, he looked down to the floor in embarrassment as his fingers grasped to his shirt tightly.

Looking up to his taller friend with tender eyes, Maruki’s sad lips parted slightly before he spoke, his hand dropping to his side sadly.

“Looking to see what she has done to you.” His soft eyes locked to Aiya’s, looking for any expression telling him he was not allowed. Aiya’s defeated expression showed that he was okay with it. As he returned both hands to the hem of Aiya’s shirt, Aiya no longer protesting his friends actions and cooperated his movements with Maruki’s. Pulling his shirt up slowly exposing his chubby, porcelain tummy, he carefully removed the obvious injured arm last, holding Aiya’s wrist gently as he guided it out of the sleeve of his t-shirt. Preventing the fabric from touching Aiya’s delicate face as the bruises became darker in such a short period of time, he curled his fingers in Aiya’s shirt collar pulling it up carefully, flipping it inside out as he pulled it up and over Aiya’s head. 

Instantly, tears welled in his almond eyes upon seeing Aiya cower away towards the door, there was an obvious trauma that came over him making him feel he needed to be covered and hide away. His entire torso covered in deep black and purple bruises, fresh scratches that were lined with dried blood, and old scars that were both linear and circular in shape. Not only was it his chest and stomach, but as Maruki silently commanded Aiya to turn by giving a gentle push against his shoulder, he had discovered that the entirety of his back as well was covered in similar scars. 

“Are there any anywhere else?” Maruki’s voice trembled in fear that this was not all of it. Somehow he felt he already knew that answer, if there were wounds on his torso, there was most likely some on his lower half as well.

Aiya looked away, tears streaming down his cheeks again, he nodded slightly. He swallowed hard, not even knowing how to process his friend now knowing what went on in his home. Maruki dropped his gaze to Aiya’s gym pants, fearing as to how bad it was there as well. 

Holding his pained arm in his palm across his chest, Aiya looked away, squeezing his tulip eyes shut hard, welled tears dripping from his lashes to the floor, pulling a faint pink with them as they pulled some of the dried blood. While it was embarrassing and awkward having his male friend undress him, he knew there was a reason to it. With those tears, Maruki grabbed for his pants, pushing them down gently in case there were fresh wounds there as well. He was careful in not removing his undergarments as he pulled them slowly to his ankles. Kneeling down on one knee, he grasped to Aiya’s foot, pulling it through the pant leg gently, making sure he would not lose balance. The second leg followed before he looked up, seeing a large amount of scars covering his thin thighs. Most of those scars had crossed over each other, showing their age as some had gone over others many times. To his dismay, there were fresh wounds on Aiya’s thighs, ones even he was unaware he had. Deep gashes over his thighs with dried blood as far down as his ankles were visibly deep and susceptible to infection. In one wound that stretched across the side of one of his thighs, there lay a few large pieces of glass, he had no idea how Aiya could not feel that. Pulling himself closer to the wound, he looked up to Aiya, still seeing those tears dropping to the floor.

“This may hurt, Ai.” Gripping around the largest piece of glass carefully, he pulled it from Aiya’s flesh swiftly, as it came out, so did a small stream of blood. Aiya clenched his eyes tight, wincing as he felt the sharp object reactivating his nerves painfully.

After removing the surprising amount of glass that was embedded in the soft flesh of Aiya’s porcelain thigh, Maruki quickly left to the bathroom and came back with a roll of gauze, a gauze pad, and some antibiotic ointment. Dropping to his knees again, he sat his butt on his heels as he placed a large glob of ointment on a clean and sterile pad, pulled a long length of the gauze before he began wrapping it lightly around the larger spread of wounds that seemed to be isolated to one leg. His small fingers were careful I not touching the now open wounds, it had taken an entire roll of gauze that spread from his hip to his knee, but all of the wounds were now covered. Standing again, Maruki looked up to his friend, facing him sternly. He quickly raised a hand to Aiya’s face, only to gently brush his bangs behind his ear so he could see the bruises. Aiya was startled for a moment enough for him to cower in his shoulders, his eyes closing tight until he realized what Maruki was doing. This lead Maruki to leave the room again to grab a moist towel from the bathroom, returning, he wiped underneath his nose to clean up the dried blood. The small yet dark bruises had grown to cover his cheeks and eyes darkly, the tiny scratches were no longer bleeding. There was no way that these were things a mother should give a child. Maruki’s stern eyes softened.

“Why would you let your mother harm your pretty face like that Ai?” To Maruki it was a stupid question, but upon seeing the bruises on Aiya’s gentle features again, he didn’t know what else to ask. With gentle grace, Maruki cupped his hand over Aiya’s cheek gently. He knew that Aiya loved his mother, and she loved him. It was all the lingering pain of the loss of his father and even though he was eleven-years-old, he knew what death was and what it could do to someone who loved that person.

Aiya looked away from Maruki, it was not that he allowed his mother to hit him it was just that she started drinking heavily that night. Her excessive drinking and losing control she was a prisoner to her own feelings again, this time she was yelling at him about his father. Though Aiya never met his father at an age where he could remember him, it seemed to be the reason to his mother’s excessive drinking. After the first few beatings and raised voice, Aiya began looking at photos of his father before he died. His father was only in his mid-twenties when he passed away, and only being twelve-years-old, it was clear to see that he growing up to look much like his father did. 

Maruki gentle slid a hand to Aiya’s shoulder from his cheek, there lay an irregular shaped bruise on it trailed down his neck as well, one that wrapped around his neck. Upon further inspection, most of his upper body had some stage of bruise on him. Maruki pulled Aiya to his bed, sitting him down gently as he pulled his duvet over Aiya’s half naked body as he noticed he began to shiver. 

“Does it still hurt?” Maruki asked, reaching to cradle Aiya’s bent elbow in his palm, taking some of the strain off of Aiya having to hold his composure for so long while hurting everywhere. With soft, lidded eyes Aiya stared at Maruki’s hand on his flesh, shaking his head slightly but noticeably, he was obviously lying to try to make Maruki feel better. He was concerned for Aiya, this had obviously happened before, so he knew he there was a great probability it could happen again. “Can you move your arm?” He asked softly, Aiya nodded silently. Raising Aiya’s arm by his shoulder, the duvet falling off his shoulder, Maruki felt around Aiya’s chest gently with his fingers, almost every gentle touch caused Aiya to wince. There was almost a guarantee that those were not only bruises but broken bones as well. This was something that he had no idea how to deal with, he was only eleven years old, the only thing he could think of was telling his mother in the morning.

Maruki shifted to pull his clothes off again, stripping to his boxers again it was his room so he held no shame in it with a friend over. He then shifted up towards the head of the bed to give Aiya more room to lie down closest to the wall on his bed, he was too damaged to force him to sleep on the floor. Maruki gave Aiya’s shoulder a gentle tug to silently command him to lie down, which Aiya followed obediently. Maruki held the duvet up for Aiya allowing him to pull himself up at his own speed to get comfortable in Maruki’s soft bed. After he was sufficiently settled in, Maruki had got up to shut the light off and then joined him on his own side of the bed, it was a queen-sized mattress so there was plenty of room for the both of them. As soon as the lights were out when the knot in his throat became unbearable to deal with.

“I forgive my mother, Maruki. It wasn't her fault.” Aiya whimpered softly trying to hold back tears now that Maruki could not see him, he hoped his friend would forgive him for forgiving his mother who committed an incident such as this on a consistent basis. Aiya stared off in the darkness, no longer being able to see until his eyes adjusted. Maruki sighed softly, not knowing how to respond to something like that. Aiya had held it secret for so many years, it was clear that he was always adamant about forgiving her every time. Briefly looking in Aiya’s direction blindly, he looked to the black ceiling again and scooted over closer to Aiya. Stretching his arm out, Maruki invited Aiya to come and sleep in his arms for the night. Feeling the soft touch of Maruki’s fingers rubbing against his shoulder, he promptly moved over and cuddled into Maruki’s arm, resting his head on Maruki’s shoulder. He was hurt, emotionally and physically and he wanted to do nothing more than sleep at the moment. Shifting from his back to his side, Maruki wrapped an arm around Aiya, cradling him tightly in a warm hug while they lied there quietly. 

“Remember the first of your birthdays we celebrated as friends?” Aiya asked sleepily, it had only been a couple of minutes and he was already falling asleep in Maruki’s warm embrace. Maruki nodded against Aiya’s thick black hair. “It’s just like that night. You were just as caring then too.” Aiya sniffled lightly, tears sliding down his cheek to Maruki’s bare shoulder. 

 After a nightmarish first day of middle school and not wanting to go back in the morning, Maruki knew that he should try sleeping as well. They were in his home and Aiya was safe in his arms. His mother could not lay a hand on him, at least tonight.

“Good night Aiya.” Maruki whispered softly, his full lips against Aiya’s thick hair; feeling him already breathing heavier, Aiya was already asleep. It was hard to believe that someone as sweet as Aiya could ever be treated like he had been all these years and hide it so well. As Maruki lay there holding Aiya as close as possible, he thought deeply. He tried to think of any time that Aiya may have hinted at that he was in pain or in danger, yet he could not think of any. Perhaps this had gone on so long with constant apologies that Aiya felt that there was nothing wrong with what he was going through. At some point in the depth of thought and memories, Maruki had also fallen asleep.